Funny Stuff

I love tv/news/drama shows, like 20/20 and dateline. One of them last week made me laugh soooo much. Not that the subject matter was funny at all, but it was the way the tv show was produced.

They had some reporter, whom I'd never seen or even heard of, interviewing the police officer whose third wife has been missing for several months. The commercials for the show had her asking him "did you kill your wife?" then the announcer asks us to tune in Friday. This story has been everywhere for months, don't you think if he'd confessed THAT WOULD BE NEWS, and we'd have heard about it. Without even watching the show I already know his answer.

I watched just to laugh at the show and the guy. Every word out of his mouth screams "I'm a scary stalker." Then we get to the point where she has to ask and it goes something like this...

"So I have to ask, and I want you to tell me the truth, did you kill your wife?"

Oh gosh, I didn't know I was going to have to tell the truth. I wish you hadn't asked me to tell the truth. The FBI has been questioning me for months, I've been lieing to them only because they didn't ask me to tell the truth. But yes, yes I did kill her, and the one before her too. I just want the world to know that I am not a liar. Murderer yes, but not a liar. And gee I feel so much better. Thank you for allowing me to get that off my chest.

They wish. He said "No." ...but if I did, she deserved it and this is how I did it.

More Roaming

Here we are having fun climbing rocks indoors.

...maybe I'm a bitch

Maybe I am, but sometimes people are stupid. Today I took my nearly fifteen year old to get his eyes checked. Last week when I made the appointment I asked if there would be any paperwork for me to sign. I also made an appointment for my seventten year old.
She went on Friday with no problem, and I needn't sign anything.

Today as I dropped the boy off I asked again about needing to sign anything. Nope. He was waiting in the car with the three three year olds. I sent him in and went to the bank. About the time I sent the vacutube through, my phone rings, I need to sign something before they can see him. So back I go.

Please send out anything I need to sign, I requested very nicely, as I have three three year olds. They sent out one page. Signed and off to another errand.

This time I got about a mile away, they called. More stuff to sign. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT I NEED TO SIGN? Don't make me bring in my babies, cause I'll do it.

As you might guess, midway through my Sonic order my phone rings. We need your signature, he's a minor, "usually parents stay with their children". OK you want me there, I'm coming.

Me and the three and my gallon of Sonic go in to sign yet another paper. It only took about five minutes for someone to inform me that they could call me when my son was finished. I looked up briefly from my pda and told her "usually parents stay with their children".

Vacation pictures

Today's installment is brought to you via my cell. This is a test of the mobile blogging system, in the event of an emergency you will see confusing things.

...I have enough

I'm hiding out at home today. Going nowhere near any retail
establishment. Today is one of the biggest shopping days of the year.
In close proximity are the day after Thanksgiving and the day after
Christmas. Seems like we as a nation can't get enough. We want so
much we can't take a day to enjoy the things that have been given us,
we're right back out there the next day.

I spend a lot of parenting lately on the concept of we have enough. I
would even say we have too much, but that is post grad parenting. To
be fair, I have to spend a lot of time on reminding myself that I
have enough. My husband is worried I won't have anything under the
tree. I have enough, and I've already had my Christmas. I got my
trip, and I got a phone, which is allowing me blog mobility, of course
I want more. I want lots, but I have enough.

As I was reminiscing about Christmas past, I tried to remember gifts
I'd gotten as a kid. I remember when I got my first watch, my grandma
got us all one when we were in second grade. My sophomore year I got,
not one, but two puppies. The only other vivid Christmas memory is
the year it didn't happen. I was in the fourth grade and my dad spent
Christmas in the hospital after being burned in an oil field accident.
My mom had to deal with six kids and hospital visits and probably
wanted to have her husband enjoy it with us. Us older kids were old
enough to understand, the younger ones too young to know the day. I
don' remember what I got that year, other than more time with Dad.

If I never got another thing in my life, I'd still have more than
billions of others on this planet. It seems wrong and selfish of me
to want more when three hundred dollars could build a house for a
family in some parts of our world. I've been trying for a couple of
years to limit the kids to three gifts, my friend gave me the idea
that the kids shouldn't get more than baby Jesus. I failed again this
year.

So as the new year approaches I'm going to resolve to do more and get
less. Shopping will no longer be a hobby. I will try not to buy
anything on a Sunday, as to observe a Sabbath. I will make do with what I have. I will do this because I have enough.

hmmmm?

Tagless tags: you can't call them tagless if you put a tag on the side seam where it bugs me all day.

...of happy ever after.

Apparently little girls sit around and dream of their happy ever after and their prince charming. I was not one of those girls, I didn't have fake weddings, or anything like that. Supposing that I had, I don't think that my life is what the other little girls are dreaming of. Had we ended our story at the wedding, maybe, but we'd miss out on most of what is good about my life.

I would like to say that I loved my husband when I said "I do", fact of the matter is, I had no clue. Any old married couple laughs at the pre-wedding counseling. We didn't need to resolve fights, we never had any. We of course said "we talk it out" puleeze. We agreed on how to raise kids we didn't have, the role our extended families would play in our life, money, yadda, yadda, yadda. It may as well been an arranged marriage for all we knew of each other. Just as long as my parents weren't the arrangers.

I also suppose the barf/poop factor doesn't factor into the girlish fantasy. If you've been a parent for longer than an hour, you know it ain't all smiles and giggles. And then there is the maniacal screaming, but I'm working on using my words. It just seems that it's more comedy/drama than romance. To be clear there is plenty of romance, but still more dramedy, and when factoring in the barf/poop it pretty much negates romance.

All in all I can say I'm happily married, will be 'til one of us dies. I can say this because I've chosen it. Since divorce is taken off of the table, I'm only left with two choices. Happy or unhappy ever after. Seems like a no brainer.

Vacation again

When we last left our band of travelers they were in the Arizona Painted Desert. Their born of the heart babies were safe and sound, and most importantly, they were out of western New Mexico.

We were in a very beautiful old hotel overlooking the painted desert. It had never been used as a hotel, seems like in the olden days when a war happened it affected us back home. They closed the hotel because people vacationed less, and they turned it into a ranger station. It was very beautiful.

After that we wandered around the park. We saw petroglyphs that looked like a stork carrying a baby. See it's true. We saw petrified logs all over the place. Creation side note. They were left over from THE flood, Grand Canyon was made by THE flood, not a billion, trillion years, and all the logs ended up down stream and turned into rock. Pretty cool huh?

It was a very windy day, very, very windy. I cannot stress the windiness enough. There were several little side treks we could have made, but our eight year old fell over more than once from the wind, so we looked from the car.

The day ended much better than it began, we contemplated staying in Gallup again and seeing if they'd do any ballooning on Sunday, we chose not too. It was snowing and we just wanted to get as close to ABQ as possible, at this point I could have cared less about Gallup and balloons. We ended up in Grants, we went the Route 66 way into town. As my dad would have said, they'd already rolled up the sidewalks. It looked like a ghost town. Still we could have stayed in a "hotel" for $25, and chose not to. We went to the newer, more evil, Super Walmart end of town. Found a hotel for $65. Wondering, but not caring how they were making money, we enjoyed a semi quiet evening in. The boys swam for two hours or so, the big middle boy really enjoyed hanging with his big brother. Big brother had nothing cooler to do, so it turned into a nice moment.

Sunday morning we woke up and high tailed it back to ABQ. We were planning on going to church. We'd found a megachurch listing website, and found a couple in ABQ we thought might be interesting. One was far away, the other, we couldn't find the service times on their website. We did see the building from the road on our way to an Albertson's with a bakery, and we saw the cops directing traffic after one service, we were however too late to be fashionably late, (after we got donuts), and decided that God would be ok with us hangin as a family.

We called my home away from home and they let us check in three hours early. Dale was happy to see me again. He called me by name and gave me my extra blankets, without my asking. I don't mind computer profiles when they are helpful and useful to me. I can't say enough nice things about the Residence Inn, and Albuquerque in general. We finished out the day going to a rock wall and the Outback. I was very proud of myself, getting all the way up several walls. I am terrible at trying new things. Turns out I actually like trying new things, and may do it more in the future. Of course new things can also be bad, but as I learned they don't last forever.

Monday morning we flew out, but not before we went to the rental car place twice. We forgot to fill 'er up, and had to go do that, but still made it in plenty of time. No lengthy airport delays, no missed connections, no drama to speak of.

We got home, got the babies, baby boy cried, they pointed out every Christmas light on the way home. Our little middle boy promised to behave, (how sad) and life got back to normal. I'm already looking forward to my next trip to Albuquerque.

...morning three, and the 24 hours.

This is the day I have been looking forward to all my fall. I have skipped the mall and peppermint pedicures for this very day. Yes, this day was very important and I clued the kids, they packed and we were ready in family record time.

Our biggest dilemma was whether to take Route 66 and get there early, or a detour and go to the ice caves. We chose annoyingly touristy 66, I of course was planning on stopping at every historical marker, every landmark, every cool thing that marked a nearly dead history. Oh and look an Albertson's they have great donuts. (of course I notice the Albertson's but miss the mega church we ended up wanting to go to).

So, annoying landmark number one the Rio Puerco Bridge, thank God it was closed, it was barely a lane wide, but we took pictures anyway, and also realized that it might be incredible annoying to stop at every thing, so aside from road side rock shops that was it. I'm so ADD.

In no time we were in Gallup, I will guestimate that it's about 10 miles long and one
mile wide. Surviving solely off of idiots like us, and the scenery was awesome. What was annoyingly absent. Lots and lots of signs regarding the balloon rally. This is supposedly the second largest balloon rally in the WORLD. We assumed there was no mention of it in ABQ because they host the largest, but figured as we neared the site, we'd be inundated with ads. Nope. No signs, nothing on the radio.

So we find the BEST WESTERN, we go to check in, nobody, but there was a sign instructing us to ring bell for service. Guess what? NO BELL. I offered a friendly "Hello?" and was abruptly greeted with "it's not 3", fine, but where exactly is the festival being held? "Canceled, No Balloons last night, everybody gone, lots of people canceled." AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH "you come back at 3". I'm so ticked, I'm am not one who wants a lot, but this is something that I wanted to see.

So, we go to the aforementioned website. You remember websites from 1995. Name. Rank. Serial Number. Basically a date and two phone numbers, first one had no clue, she "wasn't really who you need to talk to". Then why is your number on the website? The second number assured us there would still be plenty to do, even without balloons, there was a Native American market, and Native American dancers, and a parade and this was their 27th year and it would be cool......hindsight would have us leave immediately and head to Arizona, but no, I wanted to see if the weather would clear, maybe the other stuff would be fun.

NOPE. The market, two vendors charging white tourist prices on ebay items. Ok some of them were Native Americanish, but I can buy plastic Christmas ornaments with reindeer in them lots of places. I got a tshirt and hubby got some fry bread. While we waited for the dancing to begin we contemplated our "no smoking" room. It could only be classified as such because it was not currently smoldering. But they masked it rather nicely with dead flower scented freshener.

Ok, dancing, but first a lot of history. The following is in no way anything other than a description of this woman, it is not making fun of her race, only her. "my name is (we'll call her Pat), I've been doing this for twenty five years, when I first started this twenty five years ago I remember so much, and you will hear a retelling of every moment of the last twenty five years while I cut into the time the dancers have. First there is something about two and four, and two is half of four,and if it were four it would be twice as long as two. My nephew here started doing this when he could barely walk, now he does it every day. And he dances to the beat. You'll notice how all of our dancers dance to the beat, I remember when our other dancers would come with their moms when their mom's would dance, they too danced with the beat. And don't let me get started with the drummers, sometimes the girls can be around the drum, sometimes the boys only, it depends on what tribe they are from, or what tribe they are visiting or the color of the sunset, but they do a good job just like the boys. OK, let's dance, but before we do, sometimes you can join, other times you can't join. If you can join I will tell you, if you cannot join I will also tell you, sometimes you have to be asked, but I will tell you whether it's a dance that you need to be asked or whether you can just join. OK, so this first dance is a traditional Indian dance and these are the people who are dancing and here is a little history of each and every dancer dancing this, how they know each other, how I know their mom, their dad, oh and by the way, we have some tall girls and some short girls and the tall girls have a tall father, that's why they are tall. WILL YOU JUST FREAKIN LET THEM DANCE. I'D LEAVE BUT IT WOULD BE RUDE, SO I'LL JUST PLAY TETRIS ON MY PHONE. But do you think at any point in the whole thing any official person speculated on the weather? NO. They've got guys on Everest who can put people on the summit at the perfect weather moment after 45 days of planning and plotting weather, but no one can tell me if it looks good for Sunday? You people are idiots.

So, that part of the nightmare over, we head back to the pool. You'll be surprised to hear that the chemicals were off and they were eating my leg. But let's not let this ruin a perfectly good vacation. Out of the pool and into the shower. So, you know on scary movies where the wall bleed? There was a brown yuckiness running down the wall. OOOOOHHHHHH. And there were only four towels, which were already wet from swimming. My darling hubby went to get some more from the desk, I'd called earlier, but hadn't gotten them. This request was insane. Extra towels. Pool towels, what are these you speak of? So they had to go room to room to get more. I'm hungry.

Hubby wanted to go to Pizza Hut. He usually doesn't, but wanted a salad bar. So, we get there, no salad bar. Would we like to order, no thanks but we'll take a pitcher of Pepsi, oh we don't do pitchers. Pizza Hut always does pitchers, ok some of us will take Mountain Dew, some of us will take Pepsi. We don't have Mountain Dew. Or orange, only off brand Root Beer, Pepsi and Dr. Pepper. Isn't Dr. Pepper made by Coke? Just get our drinks while we figure out our order. We go the drinks, but no order. No order, no order. So hubby goes and asks. Oh yeah. So, we'll take this, this and that. Big boy orders cinistix. We got 400, still waiting for pizza. We end up finally getting 3/4 of our order, and an offer for a salad to tide daughter over until her pizza arrives. What there was no salad. Now there is salad. Apparently the look on hubby's face drew me out of my eight hour funk. Service was horrible, and we weren't much better, but I tipped him well so he'd feel bad about spitting in our food.

So, to bed, at least there was an Albertson's and I could get yummy donuts in the morning. But I couldn't, there was no bakery. The final added hotel surprise??? The doors do not actually lock. As I was checking out the Amtrak rumbled by, I really wanted to be on that train, I supposed I could be home in 8 hours had I made that train. And before this day can't get any worse, I start getting texted from my friend who is watching the babies. My agency wants to come and get the kids, because CPS never verified that she was a certified respite provider and they never issued her a certificate, and she told them she had never had a certificate, but CPS always brought over kids, but my agency didn't know my friend, and apparently didn't trust that I would leave three kids (whom I REALLY want to adopt, but the state can't get their act together,) in a safe place. Yes, I just left them with someone I don't know, so argue back and forth back and forth with the agency. Do we head to Arizona and continue our vacation or do we head back to ABQ so that I can fly back? We head to Arizona, hoping for the best. I can't believe that anyone would believe that I would leave my kids in a place where they weren't safe. I also can't believe that they expect me to accept the fact that they would place my kids in a certified home, but only until we got back. I don't want my kids some place that I don't know, with people that I don't know for one second, let alone three days. Somewhere in the painted desert I finally get it all figured out. Seems they need me to cooperate just as much as I need them to cooperate. I finally can get back to some fun.

...Vacation: Day Two

For the first time in months/maybe years we were able to sleep until we woke up, we had no place to go. That is truly a vacation. We were up in time for breakfast, and the way our loft was arranged our bedroom overlooked the kids sleeping area and we were able to throw their clues down to them and go back to sleep.

Their clue for the day included more money, and instructed them to get breakfast and pick up some vacation brochures for stuff they wanted to do that day. We caught up with them in the Guest House, and had several proposals for the days activities. After a very good breakfast we decided on the Planetarium at the Museum of Natural History.

When we arrived at the just in time for the Planetarium show. They were running fractals, it made me a little woozy. Everyone enjoyed the show, I enjoyed my nap. The museum was very nice. Had lots of dinosaurs, lots and lots of rocks, we even got to watch, what I presume to be, geologists looking for fossils.

After that we went to Old Town Albuquerque, lots of cute little shops with touristy type things. Hot air balloon souvenirs everywhere. Then it was back to the hotel until dinner time. Which was Florida retirement village early.

We were eating on top of Sandia Peak, we were riding the Worlds Longest Aeriel Tram to a restaurant at 10,000+ feet. Little altitude sickness trivia. For every 4,000 feet in elevation you are changing upwards, you need to rest 24 hours before attempting the change. We were coming from sea level, we'd spend a day at 6,400 feet, going up another 4,000 feet, we were a little winded and light headed by the end of dinner.

On the tram ride up we saw the setting sun, and the city of Albuquerque, and the mountains in the distance, actually old volcanoes, but all very beautiful. With the sun setting at 4:50 dinner was early. We wanted to go up in daylight and come down in darkness, so we could see it both ways. Most of the ride up was visible, but there was a cloud sitting on Sandia Peak, and it would remain there for the evening. We did get our annual fill of snow though, just about 10 minutes worth. Plenty for me. The restaurant was very nice, not as salty as the national chains, the desserts were very good. When we were done we headed back down the mountain. Unfortunately that cloud was still sitting there, and we were almost down to the ground before we could see the city lights. It was still very much worth it. The kids were texting their friends like mad, guess where we are, and it's snowing.

After dinner we went to the Botanical Gardens and looked at their Christmas lights. It was a lot of fun, there were carolers, and lots of lights, and a fun kids maze area, we got lost, then we figured it was a maze. We're bright, intelligent adults.

So all in all, day two was a lot of fun, I was really looking forward to day three. I had been waiting for the hot air balloon festival for a couple of months, and I was sooooo excited.

...Vacation: Day One

...but before we get there, the night before. It was truly like Christmas for me. Even better because I got to be Santa Mommy. I was thinking that the kids would like the adventure, if not, I was going to have fun. Hubby was going to have fun.

I had settled on the Amazing Race theme for the vacation. So had to limit myself to one backpack. This is hard for me, I take three pair of shoes on an overnight trip, but it was five days not five weeks, I was going to have to be a big girl, with limited shoe choice.

The night before we left, I had all the arrangements made:
House Sitter: Check
Dog Sitter: Check
Baby Sitter: Check
Online check-in/exit row plane seating: Check
Roaming Gnome: Check (What is an Amazing Race without a gnome) ((it is really an Amelie thing, rent Amelie, it is my favorite movie))
House return from vacation ready: Needed checking

So, clue number one read:

DO NOT GO TO SCHOOL. Shower, eat, do these chores and meet me on the couch at 8:45

Afterthought: waking kids with a lengthy chore list and a note stating nothing more than don't go to school and do these chores generates questions.

While they readied the house, I readied the babies for school for the day. At 8:45 we met on the couch and I handed the three older kids green envelopes. Inside was $20 and instructions for them to pack one bag, a coat, and be plane (liquids in a ziplock) ready in an hour. Then hubby and I took the babies to school.

Afterthought: Six kids. Six envelopes.

Little middle boy had to be at school at 9:00, twins had to be at school at 9:30. Perfect opportunity to let older kids stew. When we returned at 9:45 our 8 year old was packed, the older kids...doing laundry.

Parenting note: Always build in an extra 45 minutes in your schedule for laundry.

So our big boy was complaining that he didn't have a coat. He had a coat that he BEGGED for, but couldn't wear it because it was too "South Park". It was fine, and he is a big boy, if he didn't want to wear the coat, I wasn't going to make him.

We headed off to the airport, the kids finally got the clue that we were going to Albuquerque, and we were off. Our airport, not a hub, easy in, easy out. We landed at the hub at gate B84, our departure gate, B83. Not adjacent, clear across the airport. But we get there, I was even impressed that our eight year old was oohing and aahing when we did the final turn into the airport, that usually causes him to tense up a little. So proud of my little frequent flier.

Travel tip: I will always travel backpack. I love it.

Once we are in ABQ, we headed off to rent our car. For those cities that haven't caught on yet, car rental centers ROCK. One shuttle, one area, thank you. Also, kiosk check in, TOTALLY ROCKS. We wouldn't even have had to talk to anyone if the mini-vans weren't a mile out. So, we're off on our adventure, and our phone map doesn't work. (Do they ever when you are out of familiar territory?)

Afterthought: Paper maps.

After a mildly lengthy tour of ABQ, we find our home away from home, the Residence Inn, and the nicest hotel guy ever, John. In the middle of my rave of John, my husband asks if He should be worried about Me, I replied that it was I that should be worried about Him. Then we walk into our Suite. It was Sweet. It was their two story loft. I love it, can't get enough of the Residence Inn, and it was $150 a night, for a king bed, a queen murphy bed, a hide-a-bed, full kitchen, hot breakfast, two full baths, and John got me extra blankets.

Afterthought: ALWAYS STAY AT THE RESIDENCE INN

After dinner our eight year old was giving the gnome a tour of our suite, (rolling him down the stairs). Well, a $20 gnome is not up for such adventure, he brought me the gnome pieces with tears in his eyes, (first thought: Why do we have to break everything?????? second thought: It's a choice between my son's spirit and a twenty dollar gnome.) "It's ok, I know you didn't mean to break him, next time be more careful."

Important reminder to me: Broken gnomes not broken homes.

So, dad played cards with the kids downstairs, I vegged in front of the tv upstairs. (Again, loving the Residence Inn). ((Do you think they'll let me stay there free if I mention them enough?))

I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW.

...of vacation planning.

I promised several people that I would blog about my recent vaca. Here it is.


Several months ago I was blogging around, and came across a blogger who had spent a lot of time owning a hot air balloon, and I said that sounds fun. I googled hot air balloon festivals and there were several to choose from. Most were too soon or too something. I settled my heart on one in Gallup, New Mexico the first weekend in December. My first clue should have been their website, but I'll get into that later.

First thing I had to do was convince my much more practical husband that taking the kids out of school for four days, putting the babies in respite for five days, flying to ABQ, and spending thousands of dollars would be a good idea. Ten years ago, I wouldn't have worried about the details, we'd have done it and worried about it later. I think that that probably led to a lot of his practicality, but as I consider things more, he's loosened up, and pretty soon we'll pass each other on our way to the other extreme.

I only knew two things of Albuquerque. One, was that it was in New Mexico, and two the Weird Al song, ok three, it was in Bernalillo County. Other than that, my mind was a clean slate. I found out so much about Albuquerque, and the more I learned the more I wanted to visit. First thing, was it's cool there in December. I know it sounds silly, but I figure, desert = hot, but throw in an altitude higher than one mile and you get cold. Two, there is a freakin' huge mountain bumpin' up against the city, and on that mountain...the longest tram of some sort in the world. So, I was really excited about doing that. (my dearly departed Grandma B is looking down from heaven wondering where that adventuresome me was thirty years ago when she had to drag me up the side of a mountain screaming the whole way.)

I decided that I wanted this trip for my Christmas present. I wanted to go to Albuquerque, I wanted to go to the balloon festival, I wanted to hang out with my older kids, and my husband and not have to worry about which three year old was where, and getting in by eight o'clock, and getting up at the crack of early. I wanted a vacation. I stated on my Born of the Heart blog that the babies will have six years of being only children, so don't feel bad for them, we don't love them any less, we just wanted to spend some time with our born of the body babies, who have given up their parents for the last four years.

So, I came up with a mock up itinerary and presented it to my husband. I was surprised that he didn't need talked into it. Ok, I have issues, I find it hard to believe that someone could want me to have something that I want. I promise to go to therapy.

There are two givens in our house. We don't carry credit card debt, anymore, and if we can't pay for it, we can't afford it. So, I had to figure a way to make this vacation as cheap as possible, and to not notice the couple of thousand dollars this trip would cost. First thing, airline tickets. I found out that www.farecompare.com had a historical graph of the price of airline tickets for the last two years. Good news, the tickets were forecast to drop about $150, I just had to be patient and wait. Wait I did and it saved me $800.

Second thing, an inexpensive place to stay, that wouldn't make us feel all ooky. We love the Residence Inn in San Antonio, figured we'd try out the one in Albuquerque. They had a two bedroom suite for $151/night. Yikes, that's cheap, and you get a free hot breakfast. We were so there. They also have a full, stocked kitchen, we could have saved even more money by cooking, but I was on vacation....


All parents know what I mean when I say I dread the question of "how long until....?" We boldly decided that this would be a surprise trip. The kids would not know a thing, until they needed to know. So I came up with the idea of an Amazing Race type scenario. We'd figure out how much money we'd spend on them, break it up into five parts and give them a fifth of their money and a clue each day. This turned out to be a brilliant idea. The kids had to pay for snacks and souvenirs along the way. We'd buy meals and pay entrance fees. In fifteen kid days I was only asked for money once, it is almost a Christmas miracle.

We also had to plan the Gallup portion of our trip. It was two hours from Albuquerque on Route 66, figured that would be fun. Turns out the only exciting thing about Gallup was the balloon festival. I was really looking forward to that. They have beautiful scenery there, the red rock formations surrounding the town were awesome. I was so excited to see the balloons with the red rocks in the background, I couldn't wait.

Gallup is a stones throw from Arizona, just inside Arizona is the Painted Desert, reportedly a photographers dream. My daughter is a photographer and since this is her senior year, I thought it would be fun to take her there, in the Painted Desert is the Petrified National Forest, cool, cool, cool.

Just beyond the forest was Winslow, Arizona, needed to go stand on a corner, and just beyond that Meteor Crater. This trip was getting more fun by the second, I was getting more excited.

The ticket prices dropped, we bought the tickets, we booked hotel rooms, the only thing standing between us and our adventure was the calendar, but I was ready.

..I learned something.

Telemarketers are our favorite. We would do away with the home phone, but are required to have a landline for foster care. Since all of our big kids have cell phones we know that when our home phone rings, it is probably someone that we don't know. We usually let one of the three year olds answer.

AT&T has recently been violating the No Call List. I have asked many times to be taken off of their list, but heard the other day on the radio that that is not specific enough in legal terms to stop the calls. You must say "Please put me on your Do Not Call List." Once you've said that, the calls are supposed to stop, if not let us know we'll lend you a small child.

The other night some guy from AT&T called and asked to speak to a mispronounced name. So, we let our oldest three year old have a chat with him. He said a polite "hello", and launched into his wants and wishes. He wanted to go to Target, of course when you aren't expecting a "hello, I want to go to Target", you think you've misheard and ask "What?" This caused our three year old to yell, "I WANT TO GO TO TARGET" The next thing we heard was "ok goodbye".

Have you ever gotten off the phone with one of those guys so fast? So, if you know us, you probably don't have our home number and if you do don't call it.

...no looking back

No, I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be, anymore. Anytime I do, I am reminded just how imperfect I am. I am being perfected. Every day I must choose to lose some bad, to make room for some good. It sounds easy, but the bad seems so good.

I struggle everyday. On days I'm not struggling, I'm happy until I realize I must not be doing enough to show up on the devil's radar. I am too much, yet not enough.

I'm reading a book by Craig Groeschel called Going All the Way. It's about how to have a God honoring marriage. I don't usually read Christian books on marriage. They all scream the same thing to me. You did it all wrong. It's not very far into this book that the author says that he didn't do it all right either.


I was raised on 15 hours of soap operas a week and one hour of church a week did little to balance that out. When I got older I traded tv for church camp, the message repeated over and over was NO SEX. My favorite was the little skit about basketball players who shared their shoes and their feet became infected, a lovely picture. What they neglected to say was not everybody gets to choose.


My earliest realization that something was not right was when my brother and sister were talking about a new baby was coming to our house. I was seven at the time and upset that I couldn't take care of a baby. A friend was kind enough to tell me that I couldn't have a baby unless someone had touched me with their penis. That was meant to be comforting, it wasn't. Unfortunately, I was trusting enough to remain clueless for a long time. I was special, I was teacher's pet. I didn't know that normal men didn't take 12 year old girls to concerts in other towns. I didn't realize he knew it was wrong until I ran into him as an adult and he wouldn't even look at me. He'd assumed that I'd probably figured it out by then, I hadn't.



Pick up most books on marriage and compare it to mine, it will predict a horrible ending for my husband and me. Christian or secular it doesn't matter the forecast is the same, that's why I don't read them. I had decided to read this one, because for one I really enjoyed one of Craig Groeschel's other books, and enjoy lifechurch.tv. Again, me reading books on marriage is like reading in your horoscope that your whole day will suck, might as well stay home, it's written in the stars.

This is also why I don't watch the news. I am not advocating not being informed, but yesterday I watched the news, heard about a mall shooting, eight dead. A church shooting, five dead. A beat down at a KFC, one 61 year old grandma dead. The economy sucks, we're microwaving the earth, polar bears are dieing. If I watched the news everyday it wouldn't be long before I lost all hope. I'll skip the news and read my bible.

What I did like about the book was that he admits he's not perfect. Finally, someone who doesn't have their act together admitting it. If you're not married, it is probably very helpful on how to date in a Godly way, I'm not there, never was. I'm not saying that writing a book is easy, but maybe I'll write one called...God doesn't remember your past, so forget about it. It's main lesson, one that Lot's wife learned the hard way, never look back, only where you are going, and I'm going home.

...of Thanksgiving, give or take a week

I missed blogging about Thanksgiving. i have so much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful family that my husband and I have melded together from all sorts of different precious sources. We hung out, just the eight of us, and enjoyed a "quiet" day at home.

I am thankful for my husband who every day leaves the cave, kills something, and drags it home to share with us.

I'm thankful for our wonderful neighbors. Our dog would live with them if they weren't already maxed out dogwise. But their last name is our dog's first name, so he would then be named Dog Dog. for example. Anyway he visits whenever we get the chance to go away.

I'm thankful for our friends both far and near. I'm thankful for a caseworker, who is also a friend, who will no longer be my caseworker, so now she can be my friend.

I'm thankful that our foster agency thinks of our bio-kids as well. This has been my mission with Born of the heart.

I'm thankful for ergonomic keyboards, and I wish one would work on this computer.

I am thankful for the most wonderful respite provider in the world. Without her I'd have been carted off a long time ago. She loves my kids, but in an appropriately distant way.

I am thankful for the financial blessing that we have. I am honored that the Good Lord thinks of us as good stewards, and it is not something that I take for granted.

I am thankful to have been born into the greatest country in the history of mankind. And very thankful for the men and women who dodge bullets and give their lives so that I can raise my family in peace.

I am thankful that my mother in law, (mil) is an atypical mil, and there are no jokes that apply to her milwise. I also get to keep her in the event of a divorce.

I am thankful for so many things. I am thankful for the four of you who read this, chocolate, babies, airplanes, Marble Slab, fuzzy socks, 80 degree weather in November, the beach, showers, DVR's, jeans that make my butt look good. My kitchen, my car, Target, no call lists, blankies, tempurpedic material, down comforters, jewelry, Cap'n Crunch, allergy medication, the internet (thanks Al Gore), tv, homemade bread, .......

...to take me away.

I have short timers syndrome. I am mere moments from some time away. I am leaving and I couldn't be more excited. I'm looking forward to different weather. A 7,000 foot change in elevation should provide some. I love living in the tropics, but getting away will be great.

We're going to a place that we have never been. I won't say where, we're keeping the whole trip a secret from the kids. I'm trying to pull off an Amazing Race Christmas Vacation. I've got clues formulating. I've found several places to visit, something of interest to all of the kids. My daughter is a photographer, this trip should provide us an abundance of pictures.

I've learned so much in planning this trip:
1: Check www.farecompare.com they give you a historical record of the past two years of airline prices. Following their trending saved us $800 on airline tickets.

2: Not all family suites are created equal. Embassy Suites provides a two room suite, but both beds are in the same room. Missing the point a little. I was looking forward to their omelet bar, but we are staying at the Residence Inn. We get a two bedroom suite. That's two bedrooms, not two beds in a room, plus free breakfast and fully equipped kitchen.

3. Research the weather. I'm used to 80 degrees in November, that's at sea level, we're trekking up more than a mile. I don't think it's convertible weather.

I'm hoping that the lack of forethought on the part of the kids will eliminate some of the baggage. Do we really need to bring three bags per person for a five day trip?

...I couldn't do that.

There are jobs most of us don't think we can do. I never thought I could manage a household with eight kids. I did. No one starved, laundry got done, no one missed anything important. Now that has changed and we have six kids, even some days I don't think I can do this job, but day after day it gets done. I've had to learn to delegate, let things go, and take care of myself. I can do it.

I know a lot of people who have jobs that I don't want to do. Our pastor has one such job. Wouldn't want it. Of course he was called to do that job and is quite good at it. Doesn't make me want it any more. Don't want to be a missionary in Africa, or anywhere else for that matter.

I used to be ticked off when people would say "I couldn't do that." I would think, yes you could, you just don't want to. I know it was a compliment they were giving, but it didn't feel like one. I've since changed my attitude on the whole thing. When people tell me they couldn't do what I do, I want to tell them all that they are missing by not doing it.

If you have a job that people don't think they can do, it's probably because you don't have a job, but a calling. You see it from a different view, you don't see the work involved, you see the blessing that come to you. Our pastor has had the privilege to see thousands of lives changed. I can guess that those people are the reason he shows up to work everyday, not the enormous amount of work and stress that goes with it.

If I were to focus on the crying, screaming, constant stress that I am under, I would quit this job in a minute. It pays crap, I have to worry about how I am parenting these born of the heart children, if I slap a mosquito off of their face did someone see it and turn me in for smacking the kids around? So, I have to make a note that at precisely 11:14 on Tuesday morning I slapped a bug off of child A's face. I choose to focus on the blessings. My family has saved three children from two and a half years of foster care. When baby boy says "I love you," or when I notice that little middle boy is waking up with a "good morning mom," and not screaming bloody murder, that's my payoff. I get a thousand kisses, I am well band-aided at all times. I'm probably storing some treasure in heaven, but I am blessed.

So, next time you notice someone doing a job you don't think you could do, look it from another view. Don't look at the work you'd have to do, but rather the blessings you might be missing.

...it rained.

And as the old saying goes, when it rains, it pours. It started as our ordinary day. The older three kids were at school, the three little ones and I had just gotten back from errands. The kiddos were watching tv, and I was doing paperwork in the kitchen. It was calm and relatively peaceful for once, and then I heard the scream. I ran to the living room, which can be seen from the kitchen, and saw the blood trail. Our dog had bitten baby boy. In all the commotion I gathered it was a fight over the beloved blankie. Baby boy loves it and cannot live without it.

It was very apparent that baby boy needed some minor medical care. I called the pediatrician, usually you can get in in minutes, not today, he advised I go to the ER at the children's hospital. I've been there on several occasions, an ER visit is six hours on a good day. I am blessed to have a telecommuting husband, I could go with the injured party and leave the other two with daddy.

I tried two urgent care facilities, one closed, the other didn't have pediatric supplies, but looked the wound over and decided it could probably be closed with glue. Yippee, I can go to the pediatricians office, but wait, before you leave, we need information on the dog so the city can quarantine him for ten days.

Back in the car, on the phone with hubby, get the dog to the vet, before the city comes, call the pediatrician and let him know we've seen a doctor and don't need the ER. Call the caseworker and find out what else we have to do. Call waiting, eldest daughter, needs picked up, not gonna happen. I have less than 15 minutes to get to the pediatricians office before he closes for the weekend.

There I am running a screaming, bleeding kid into the hospital where the pediatricians office is, in the elevator, ding, ding, ding, ding, out of the elevator, down the hall, the door is locked. We still had eight minutes, Mrs. doctor peeks her head out of the other door, come in this way. Doctor gives baby boy a quick once over, he can do it, but warns me there will be screaming and gnashing of teeth. I'll have to hold him, can do. Texting hubby, to see if he can get the caseworker to watch the two babies and come help me hold down baby boy. Before I finish T9ing doctor informs me he is out of something and I'll need to go to the ER. NOOOOOOOOOOO, he says "this is minor, it won't take long." Apparently he's never been to the ER. It was still three and a half hours until the pediatric urgent care center opened, defeated I head to the ER.

We arrived at the ER at 1:30. Reason for visit, dog bite. Animal control showed up before we'd been triaged. It was after two, eldest daughter should be home. Hubby couldn't take the dog to the vet until she was home, his vehicle is not equipped for baby seats, and I had them in my car anyway. Luckily she was home, and the dog was at the vet. $300 for ten days boarding.

Three o'clock. Asked the couple next to me how long they'd been there. They were there for four hours, got in a room, sat in that room for an hour, was sent to radiology, waited there for one or two hours and had been back in the ER queue for about an hour. How long has it been. They decided it was between seven and eight hours at that point.

Shortly before four my husband calls, big middle boys bus is over half an hour late. Hmm? He's going to call the bus place, wants to know if I'm getting any closer. Nope.

Four o'clock. Phone rings, unknown number, I answer and hear freaked out screaming and crying. I have no idea who it is. It's big middle boy, scared he'd gotten on the wrong bus. He's eight, I assured him that daddy was looking into it and that daddy would be at the bus stop when he got there.

Five o'clock. Hungry, cranky. Oh forgot to tell you. Was informed at triage that "we may have to sedate him for stitches, no eating or drinking" which meant no eating or drinking for me. Still three ahead of you. I go for a walk and the cigarette smokers seem to be enjoying themselves, maybe if I smoked I would be enjoying myself, maybe I'd already be dead, probably wouldn't kill me quickly enough to pick up the habit now.

The guy ahead of me comes out and tells me the guy in front of him just went it. Finally. 5:35 we get the nod. Back in the room, won't be long now. Then I see the paramedics, a very young child and hear, LOC. It's going be awhile.

5:45 doc comes in. Starts cleaning the wound that dried HOURS ago. This does not please baby boy. I inform doctor number three that doctor number one said glue, doctor number two said one stitch top, one bottom. Doctor number three is rubbing furiously to get the dried blood off. I suggest putting a wet compress on it and letting the blood loosen up before we start rubbing his face any more. Good idea, I should have gone to medical school. So, I'm holding wet compress on his face and he falls asleep. Doctor number three says let's sedate, I ask what that means time wise. A couple of hours after to see how he recovers. I say let's hold him. Ok we'll try.

7:15 doctor number three comes back and says, sorry, can't find anyone to hold him, we'll have to sedate. NOOOOOO, I'll hold him. Mom's don't usually handle that too well. Well I'm not most moms, let's do it. Oh wait, here comes a 300 pound linebacker, he can do it.

We go through the whole process of pappoosing baby boy. One pillow case encasing the arms behind the back. One bed sheet wrapped three times around baby boy, back board strapped down. Hey let's go get some supplies. Baby boy is a sweater. He sweats walking down the hall. He was drenched in the couple of minutes it took them to gather their supplies. Ok, so they are cleaning, and numbing and they start to sew. Baby boy is screaming, I ask him what's wrong, it hurts, they want to give him more shots, I ask him what hurts, my head. The big guy was holding his head to hard. Switch with me. So, there I am holding baby boys head, he's not happy, but we're getting it done. Doctor three makes the comment, that had she known we'd have been out of there two hours ago. Had I not really wanted to go home, I'd have thrown her down.

Ok we're done, must wait in lobby for discharge papers. 8:15. Limit his activity for the next week. He's two, wish me luck. Off to the pharmacy. Home by 9:00. So from the time the doctor decides she'd start until the time I get home, about an hour and a half, and that's with a trip to McDonald's and Target. So, what could have been two hours turned into NINE. And waiting for me when I get home is phone calls and paperwork so I can launch upon myself an investigation as to whether I was providing adequate supervision and whether or not my dog is dangerous.

Of course I'm trying to focus on the silver lining. My hubby was able to keep the home fires burning, watch the kids, get the dog taken care of, make sure the big middle boy was ok and not on the wrong bus. He was able to meet big middle boy, so that the trauma from the bus ordeal was not compounded with not having a parent to meet him. Eldest daughter was able to help, and was apparently very helpful. Baby boy and I got to spend nine hours together, with no interruptions. I was able to stave off, not only a nicotine addiction, but an assault record as well. So, when all is said and done, a good day, but I'm hoping tomorrow will be better.

...I almost bought drugs for Christmas

There is a toy that my children have been clamoring for, Aqua dots. It's a new take on the bead forms that need to be ironed. Now having three under four I thought this wouldn't be a good idea. One of my older children had stuck an aforementioned iron on bead up his nose and we had a costly ER visit. Had the babies been older I'd have considered getting these.

Yesterday they announced that the Aqua dots were safe until they got wet. You know, the whole point of AQUA dots is to get them wet. It seems when they get wet either in the proper instructed way, or a kid puts one in his mouth, they turn into GHB, also known as the date rape drug. There are eight kids in comas now. Yikes.

...I didn't sell out.

One of my bloggy friends suggested I try pay per post, where I get paid to offer my comments on sponsored products. I looked into it. One of the things I had the "opportunity" to blog about was Moon Sand. As you will soon be able to tell I didn't seize the opportunity. Moon Sand would like to replace Play-Do. Not gonna happen.

The makers of Moon Sand took every thing that we love about Play-do and made bizarro Play-do. First, it's SAND. How many times have we as mothers told the kids "do not bring sand into this house"? Now we are expected to pay money for it? I took home a sample from somewhere and it's like a trip to the beach, no matter how much you clean there's still sand in places there shouldn't be sand.

Next mistake. The price. I think it's $3 or $4 for one color. Play-do gives you three colors for $1.67, love that. Most mommies I know view this lovely smelling substance as disposable. You can smush it on the wall and it won't leave a stain. It won't smudge up. It won't adhere to the couch no matter how long you sit on it. This only applies to Play-do not the Rose Art stuff. That stuff is horrible. Also when Play-do dries up you can toss it, no problem. With the moon sand stuff, it never dries up, they say you can mold it over and over. First problem with that is you have to buy the molds, secondly, once you touch the molded stuff it crumbles. Buen idea.

So, I will not be blogging for ppp, I have an opinion and I'm not afraid to use it. I didn't want to turn into Amazon.com. Used to be very reliable for honest opinions until they started paying for your opinions. Now everything is worth buying, even stick up light bulbs in 40 packs. When I'm looking for opinions I want them to be your honest to goodness opinion. I don't want your opinion to be filtered by someone who doesn't like it. So, there you have it, I can't be bought for $5.23 - which wouldn't cover the product and the gas to the store.