A crotchety old man muttered those words today at the pool. In reference to my little ones. I ignored it. What was I going to say. They're not stupid. I'd have used a different word, but for the sake of what may be a point, we'll stick with stupid.
Yes, my kids are stupid. All kids are stupid. Why do you think they stick around for eighteen years? They are stupid and slow learners. This is also why they are so cute right out of the package, we have to fall in love with them before we realize just how stupid they are. How many times do we have to tell them to pick up their shoes, or brush their teeth? Approximately 989,000 times. Stupid and slow and loved.
Of course I am even more stupid and slow. My darling husband hoped today that I would one day learn to put my dishes in the sink. Maybe he's stupid and slow.
But how many times do we have to go through the same problems before we figure them out? Approximately 989,000 times. I know my babies cannot stay up past 8:00 - by 8:30 they melt down, which results in my meltdown, which just is not the way to spend an evening. I KNOW that if they are bathed and in bed by 8:00 they will go to bed happy, whining but happy, and I will have a nice quiet evening with the rest of the family. But nooooo, I rationalize them staying up with the dream that they will sleep in. They don't. Morning time sleepiness does not kick in until the third day of Kindergarten. It then becomes chronic.
It would be so much easier if we just did what we knew we had to do when we had to do it. Wouldn't it? We know, we're not that stupid, and yet we get paid $100 and spend $150. We wonder why that other mom at school is so skinny, the one always wearing workout clothes. We ponder this each afternoon over a chocolate shake or a 44 oz. coke. We are all just stupid and slow and loved.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
...the good towels.
As I was folding laundry this morning I came across some horribly stained towels. These were to be my "good towels". They are white and I wrongly believed that bleach would keep them sparkling. Even bleach can not rescue these from whatever has wronged them. So, I folded them up and donated them to my husband's grody rag pile.
But it reminded me of my aunt. She always had the good towels that we were not to touch. Neither were we to touch the good soap, enter through the front door, or walk on carpet with our shoes. And boy did we like going to her house. And meaning no disrespect here, she still died. Her immaculate house could not save her from the fate that we all have.
I will admit that I could do better in the housekeeping department, but I'm hoping that people like coming to my house. I try to keep it all in perspective. What good are good towels that can't be used, if there is no one there to not use them anyway? Towels last a year if you are lucky. They either fall apart or you want new towels because you're tired of the same old ones. I'd rather have good friends than good towels.
But it reminded me of my aunt. She always had the good towels that we were not to touch. Neither were we to touch the good soap, enter through the front door, or walk on carpet with our shoes. And boy did we like going to her house. And meaning no disrespect here, she still died. Her immaculate house could not save her from the fate that we all have.
I will admit that I could do better in the housekeeping department, but I'm hoping that people like coming to my house. I try to keep it all in perspective. What good are good towels that can't be used, if there is no one there to not use them anyway? Towels last a year if you are lucky. They either fall apart or you want new towels because you're tired of the same old ones. I'd rather have good friends than good towels.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
...cash back rewards
We've been saying it for years. We do not borrow money. Unless of course something really important, really cool, or really necessary came up. We've been saying it, but we didn't really, really mean it. This is the day that we change.
A couple of weeks ago we got a notice from our insurance agency that everything on the outside of our house stunk and we needed to do repairs to our roof, foundation, siding, brick work, and facia boards. Also, our trees were too big, (wonder what they are doing about our neighbors trees?) This news came moments after my husband and I decided that it was indeed time to hire an attorney to adopt our kids, and that credit would be ok, this time.
When you start adding it all up, it becomes a lot. We don't borrow money, but we're about to borrow a lot, because it is urgent. We had a little more than a month to make all of these repairs. It' s urgent, but what was more important? Do we change our conviction that we do not want to be slave to a lender? Or, do we let other people dictate through their urgency how we will live our lives? Urgency or conviction?
But how can we really justify the further use of the credit card? We can use debit, we've been choosing not to. Convenience or conviction?
So, there we sat with a $20,000 problem, and we didn't have the money in the bank. We don't borrow money. This seems like a problem. Of course, as with many problems, we look at what we think is the problem, only to find out later that the other side saw it differently. So, we found out exactly what the problem was, and exactly how to fix it.
Regarding the kids, they aren't going anywhere, important not urgent. Regarding the roof, important not urgent. Regarding the trees, urgent and important. So, in the end our $20,000 urgent problem turned out to be less than $1,000. We had that, without borrowing money. The rest of the important matters can be taken care of over time, once we've saved.
All of this is well and good, but there is more. I had to call the mortgage company and explain the insurance situation and find out if we were going to have insurance, if the mortgage company had paid the insurance who was dropping us, they had, and how to pay for the new insurance. Well, got to talking with someone who asked me if I wanted to refinance? We were in great standing with them, our credit scores were good (as high as they'll be from now on, because we don't borrow money), and we could save 1% with no closing costs. So, we're refinancing to a 15 fixed, down from the 24 years remaining on our current loan. It will raise our payment $140/month, but over the life of the loan save us $67,000.00 and nine years of a mortgage payment.
So, we are now vowing to never use credit again. Yikes, what if? I think God has it covered, two weeks ago we had a $20,000 problem. Today, we saved $67,000.00 in finance charges and 9 years of house payments. That's more cash back than I'll ever get from any credit card.
A couple of weeks ago we got a notice from our insurance agency that everything on the outside of our house stunk and we needed to do repairs to our roof, foundation, siding, brick work, and facia boards. Also, our trees were too big, (wonder what they are doing about our neighbors trees?) This news came moments after my husband and I decided that it was indeed time to hire an attorney to adopt our kids, and that credit would be ok, this time.
When you start adding it all up, it becomes a lot. We don't borrow money, but we're about to borrow a lot, because it is urgent. We had a little more than a month to make all of these repairs. It' s urgent, but what was more important? Do we change our conviction that we do not want to be slave to a lender? Or, do we let other people dictate through their urgency how we will live our lives? Urgency or conviction?
But how can we really justify the further use of the credit card? We can use debit, we've been choosing not to. Convenience or conviction?
So, there we sat with a $20,000 problem, and we didn't have the money in the bank. We don't borrow money. This seems like a problem. Of course, as with many problems, we look at what we think is the problem, only to find out later that the other side saw it differently. So, we found out exactly what the problem was, and exactly how to fix it.
Regarding the kids, they aren't going anywhere, important not urgent. Regarding the roof, important not urgent. Regarding the trees, urgent and important. So, in the end our $20,000 urgent problem turned out to be less than $1,000. We had that, without borrowing money. The rest of the important matters can be taken care of over time, once we've saved.
All of this is well and good, but there is more. I had to call the mortgage company and explain the insurance situation and find out if we were going to have insurance, if the mortgage company had paid the insurance who was dropping us, they had, and how to pay for the new insurance. Well, got to talking with someone who asked me if I wanted to refinance? We were in great standing with them, our credit scores were good (as high as they'll be from now on, because we don't borrow money), and we could save 1% with no closing costs. So, we're refinancing to a 15 fixed, down from the 24 years remaining on our current loan. It will raise our payment $140/month, but over the life of the loan save us $67,000.00 and nine years of a mortgage payment.
So, we are now vowing to never use credit again. Yikes, what if? I think God has it covered, two weeks ago we had a $20,000 problem. Today, we saved $67,000.00 in finance charges and 9 years of house payments. That's more cash back than I'll ever get from any credit card.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
...we cleaned the cupboard
There is always something needing cleaned around here, I don't expend too much energy worrying about it. My mother had a plaque in her house that read "Cleaning with kids in the house is like shoveling the walk while it's snowing." It may have been her mission statement, I'm not sure, hopefully I have a little better attitude about it, but I completely understand it.
We had to clean out the cupboard today, not because the cupboard needed it, but because the little boys found it to be the perfect fire truck. It's the cupboard that houses the Sam's Club cases so it was not traumatic for me, the boys stayed there for an hour or so making it totally worth it. Better yet, they were getting along.
Next time CPS sends me a "little note" about the lack of toys that I have made available for the children, I'll be sure to tell them they don't need toys we just put them in the cupboard.
We had to clean out the cupboard today, not because the cupboard needed it, but because the little boys found it to be the perfect fire truck. It's the cupboard that houses the Sam's Club cases so it was not traumatic for me, the boys stayed there for an hour or so making it totally worth it. Better yet, they were getting along.
Next time CPS sends me a "little note" about the lack of toys that I have made available for the children, I'll be sure to tell them they don't need toys we just put them in the cupboard.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Why?
Why does God need money? He doesn't. He needs YOU to give it. But why should I have to part with something God doesn't even need? Because the giving is what is important.
Many pastors in many churches ask for money. I cannot comment as to the motives for which they ask, it is none of my business what their motive is. While I am sure that most are asking to further God's kingdom, I am equally sure that others are furthering their own. What IS important is that God asks us to give because it changes who we are.
God is a giver. We are born takers. Our time on earth is to be spent becoming more of the persons we were created to be. We were made in the image of God, when we give we become more like Him.
I am not a giver. I am a spender. I subscribe to the notion that business provides for people better than charities do. After all my spending provides jobs for people that are willing to work for it. But I've come to realize that following God's principles always works. He says give, so I give. He says love, so I love (even when I hate to). He says honor, so I honor. It always works. And so for the sake of obedience I will do what He asks, I will go where He sends, I will give what He wants, and as I do I will understand why.
Many pastors in many churches ask for money. I cannot comment as to the motives for which they ask, it is none of my business what their motive is. While I am sure that most are asking to further God's kingdom, I am equally sure that others are furthering their own. What IS important is that God asks us to give because it changes who we are.
God is a giver. We are born takers. Our time on earth is to be spent becoming more of the persons we were created to be. We were made in the image of God, when we give we become more like Him.
I am not a giver. I am a spender. I subscribe to the notion that business provides for people better than charities do. After all my spending provides jobs for people that are willing to work for it. But I've come to realize that following God's principles always works. He says give, so I give. He says love, so I love (even when I hate to). He says honor, so I honor. It always works. And so for the sake of obedience I will do what He asks, I will go where He sends, I will give what He wants, and as I do I will understand why.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
...I'm knocking on the door.
You know the one Pastor Bil asked us to pray that God would open? Yeah. I'm knocking on it. For those of you who weren't there, our pastor asked us to pray that God would open a door that required faith to walk through.
Visit my door.....http://play-n-station.blogspot.com
Visit my door.....http://play-n-station.blogspot.com
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
...I failed my country.
This morning I got an email of utmost urgency. It was up to me and me alone to save my country from the politicians. You see, Congress is up to no good, and we the people must stop their misdeeds by signing a petition that will go "directly to the president". If I fail to forward that email to "everyone" in my address book the 974 people who have already signed the petition will not have their voices heard. Whatever happens will be my fault, I alone will put the lid on the proverbial handbasket that we are already in and send it straight to hell.
I deleted it. I didn't have W's email address.
I deleted it. I didn't have W's email address.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
...I went to church
I always go to church. Have since I was little, minus that one decade. I stopped going because there didn't seem to be a reason. The people in the church didn't have any better answers about God than the people on the outside. No one could tell me how God had changed them into a better person. I use the term better loosely. I know that we are all sinners, inside and outside of the building that we call the church. I just figured that if the people who were going to church could act like they were so much better, they could tell me why they were so much better, and what God had done to change them. They couldn't.
So, when I left home, boys were so much more interesting than church, and a lot more interested. Of course when I got pregnant and went back home, the church welcomed me with open arms. Oh wait, no they didn't. They were only there to save me, and pray for me, I can count on two fingers the people who loved me anyway. Of course what most of the church people didn't know is that they'd "had" to get married. Funny how those who have received more grace are more capable of giving it.
Well, several years ago, I found the church for me. The first week we attended, they gave all the adults in the church $100 bills. For those of you raised in church, they don't do that. It's crazy. I'd just left a church where one of the elders wasn't quite sure if he had the money to tithe. Even in church people are so caught up on money. I am one of them, but getting better. I'm glad I didn't leave and not come back to the crazy church. It's been life changing.
I've always thought that God spoke to me. Crazy right? Not at my church. I'm not saying that I can hear his voice, but I know it's God. He is usually asking crazy things. It started with honoring my husband. Crazy, who does these things? Then give away a significant amount of our income. Crazy. Apparently God didn't know that we were having some employment issues at the time. God keeps upping the crazy ante. Knowing all the times that He's come through, I still think it's crazy. Right now, He's really asking crazy things of me. Does He not know that I don't do these things? I'm quite sure He does know that he is pushing me well beyond my own defined limits of comfort. I'm quite sure that He is trying to teach me something about myself and about Him. I'm quite sure that I will always have clothes, and food, and shelter. I'm quite sure that my family will always love me, but still I am afraid that I don't have the crazy faith that I need to do the crazy things. And I am also quite sure that if I don't, it will be one of the things that I will regret.
Before me is a door. I know what is on the other side. God has affirmed to me several times, from several sources that He is on the other side of that door. I am just going to have to do some crazy things to get through the door. So, if you see me acting crazy in the near future, don't worry I'm just trying to get closer to my God.
So, when I left home, boys were so much more interesting than church, and a lot more interested. Of course when I got pregnant and went back home, the church welcomed me with open arms. Oh wait, no they didn't. They were only there to save me, and pray for me, I can count on two fingers the people who loved me anyway. Of course what most of the church people didn't know is that they'd "had" to get married. Funny how those who have received more grace are more capable of giving it.
Well, several years ago, I found the church for me. The first week we attended, they gave all the adults in the church $100 bills. For those of you raised in church, they don't do that. It's crazy. I'd just left a church where one of the elders wasn't quite sure if he had the money to tithe. Even in church people are so caught up on money. I am one of them, but getting better. I'm glad I didn't leave and not come back to the crazy church. It's been life changing.
I've always thought that God spoke to me. Crazy right? Not at my church. I'm not saying that I can hear his voice, but I know it's God. He is usually asking crazy things. It started with honoring my husband. Crazy, who does these things? Then give away a significant amount of our income. Crazy. Apparently God didn't know that we were having some employment issues at the time. God keeps upping the crazy ante. Knowing all the times that He's come through, I still think it's crazy. Right now, He's really asking crazy things of me. Does He not know that I don't do these things? I'm quite sure He does know that he is pushing me well beyond my own defined limits of comfort. I'm quite sure that He is trying to teach me something about myself and about Him. I'm quite sure that I will always have clothes, and food, and shelter. I'm quite sure that my family will always love me, but still I am afraid that I don't have the crazy faith that I need to do the crazy things. And I am also quite sure that if I don't, it will be one of the things that I will regret.
Before me is a door. I know what is on the other side. God has affirmed to me several times, from several sources that He is on the other side of that door. I am just going to have to do some crazy things to get through the door. So, if you see me acting crazy in the near future, don't worry I'm just trying to get closer to my God.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
What is wrong with this world?
So anyone who has a tv has no doubt seen the "herpes" commercial. I have seen it, but since the advent of DVR, haven't watched it for awhile. Today I was watching live tv when it came on and I got the "herpes" commercial for the new century. It goes something like this.....
I have herpes.
I don't.
But we have lots of fun and it has not impacted our life in any way. We can do whatever we want because we have a magic herpes pill. I'm attractive and living life to its fullest, it's actually somewhat cool to have herpes.
Not really, but it feels that way to me. The thing that has always bothered me about the commercial is the fine print. It says that 70% of people who have herpes got it from a partner that had no "obvious" signs at the time. What about the other 30% - what were they thinking? Oh obviously there is something wrong here, but what the hey.
The new part that bothers me, in that I had not noticed it before, was at the end one of them says, "it's important to be safe". Why? There is a magic pill that will erase all negative effects of my irresponsibility. Why shouldn't my kids get to do whatever they want, it's cool and doing whatever they want will not negatively impact their life. If it does, they can take a pill, and the government can pay for it, and we can complain. Instead of promoting safety, let's promote brain use.
I want to see the commercial that says....
Hey, I wasn't really thinking and caught a DISEASE that will affect the rest of my life. It has altered my life, and the life of the family that I now want. Medicine helps somewhat with the medical issue that I've created in my life, but because of my lack of self control, or not knowing who I was sleeping with, it will cost me money for the rest of my life. My wife will be affected for the rest of her life, and it cannot be undone. It is something that I have to think about on a daily basis and it does interfere with my life, sure I can still go kayaking, but how important is kayaking anyway, we're talking about my penis.
I have herpes.
I don't.
But we have lots of fun and it has not impacted our life in any way. We can do whatever we want because we have a magic herpes pill. I'm attractive and living life to its fullest, it's actually somewhat cool to have herpes.
Not really, but it feels that way to me. The thing that has always bothered me about the commercial is the fine print. It says that 70% of people who have herpes got it from a partner that had no "obvious" signs at the time. What about the other 30% - what were they thinking? Oh obviously there is something wrong here, but what the hey.
The new part that bothers me, in that I had not noticed it before, was at the end one of them says, "it's important to be safe". Why? There is a magic pill that will erase all negative effects of my irresponsibility. Why shouldn't my kids get to do whatever they want, it's cool and doing whatever they want will not negatively impact their life. If it does, they can take a pill, and the government can pay for it, and we can complain. Instead of promoting safety, let's promote brain use.
I want to see the commercial that says....
Hey, I wasn't really thinking and caught a DISEASE that will affect the rest of my life. It has altered my life, and the life of the family that I now want. Medicine helps somewhat with the medical issue that I've created in my life, but because of my lack of self control, or not knowing who I was sleeping with, it will cost me money for the rest of my life. My wife will be affected for the rest of her life, and it cannot be undone. It is something that I have to think about on a daily basis and it does interfere with my life, sure I can still go kayaking, but how important is kayaking anyway, we're talking about my penis.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Worst Parent Ever
Once again I find myself in the position of the horrible parent. I'm making my daughter, who is a senior in high school, walk places and without the right to her cell phone. To top it off I still made her pay for her cell phone and car insurance, even though she has no access to it. I KNOW!!!! Somebody should stop me.
This was not a decision I made in haste or in anger that I couldn't take back, were that the case it would have happened six weeks ago. She has a history of doing just enough to get by, not taking into account the unexpected.
Our house runs on the system of points. Do a chore get a point, want a privilege spend a point. I know....complicated and hard to understand. Anyway, our big girl will do just enough to get her phone and pay her car insurance and nothing else. This has been getting her by. Until now. Recently she has been a little lazy and hasn't gotten all of her points. And then she forgot to get her laundry out of the dryer. I charge five points for laundry removal, now this may seem extreme but since that rule has taken effect I haven't been shuffling their laundry. Anyway this oversight caused an overdraft, and those of us who've overdrafted a checking account know that pain.
So we're letting natural consequences take effect. Can't pay the cell phone bill, can't use the cell phone, can't pay the insurance, can't (or shouldn't) use the car. Better to learn it now than next year.
This wouldn't be as much of a problem for me, but she's gotten all of her friends' parents driving her places. I as a parent do not assume the whatever to drive her friends around. Yes, if we have plans and are including them, I provide door to door service, but not a "so and so has such and such and her parents can't take her...." not my problem. I'm figuring that the surrogate chauffers this week are sitting in my driveway wondering how I could be so lazy, heartless, selfish or what not to deprive my own flesh and blood her inalienable right to cell and transportation.
I don't enjoy wondering how my daughter is going to get home at 11:00 at night after work, but this will be her problem in a few short months and I want her to feel the pain of her irresponsibility when it's just a little hurt rather than next year when I can't bail her out. If that makes me a bad parent then guilty I am.
So once again I accept the award for worst parent ever, and keeping a spot open in the trophy case for not getting her a Lexus for graduation. Or not throwing my son a quince....
This was not a decision I made in haste or in anger that I couldn't take back, were that the case it would have happened six weeks ago. She has a history of doing just enough to get by, not taking into account the unexpected.
Our house runs on the system of points. Do a chore get a point, want a privilege spend a point. I know....complicated and hard to understand. Anyway, our big girl will do just enough to get her phone and pay her car insurance and nothing else. This has been getting her by. Until now. Recently she has been a little lazy and hasn't gotten all of her points. And then she forgot to get her laundry out of the dryer. I charge five points for laundry removal, now this may seem extreme but since that rule has taken effect I haven't been shuffling their laundry. Anyway this oversight caused an overdraft, and those of us who've overdrafted a checking account know that pain.
So we're letting natural consequences take effect. Can't pay the cell phone bill, can't use the cell phone, can't pay the insurance, can't (or shouldn't) use the car. Better to learn it now than next year.
This wouldn't be as much of a problem for me, but she's gotten all of her friends' parents driving her places. I as a parent do not assume the whatever to drive her friends around. Yes, if we have plans and are including them, I provide door to door service, but not a "so and so has such and such and her parents can't take her...." not my problem. I'm figuring that the surrogate chauffers this week are sitting in my driveway wondering how I could be so lazy, heartless, selfish or what not to deprive my own flesh and blood her inalienable right to cell and transportation.
I don't enjoy wondering how my daughter is going to get home at 11:00 at night after work, but this will be her problem in a few short months and I want her to feel the pain of her irresponsibility when it's just a little hurt rather than next year when I can't bail her out. If that makes me a bad parent then guilty I am.
So once again I accept the award for worst parent ever, and keeping a spot open in the trophy case for not getting her a Lexus for graduation. Or not throwing my son a quince....
Friday, March 21, 2008
I wanna go home
Our three year old boy has been saying this all week. No doubt, in my mind, something prompted by a visit with Mama earlier in the week. Our first question to him is "where's home?". His answer, "here", not likely the response Mama anticipated.
I don't know if Mama thinks there may still be some hope for them to return to her home, or if she is trying to use the kids to upset me. The words are not what bother me, it's the four year old wondering if I will get to see him later. Remember, this boy has lived in six other homes, he has legitimate fear that one day I won't be there.
Even a week ago I was resolved to let this case go where it may. I told myself that if it were God's will I'd even help Mama get her kid's back. This case has been so weird and unusual I wonder on a daily basis what my role here is....that was until I talked to the four year old. He was wondering where Mama lived. I'll spare the details, but the conversation ended with him asking if he could live at home forever. Remembering we've established that home is here.
That got my mind going. I can hardly get out the door at childrens' church, could I really think that I could ever hand the babies that have lived in our home for three years to a stranger, who would take them to a strange place. Could I answer their pleadings of "mom where are you going and when will you be back?" Decidedly not. I dislike the histrionics of born of the heart families who make a transition home worse, I get it, but would hope that I would make it easier on the kids.
I cannot conceive the thought of that scene. I know that for "privacy" reasons I would not be allowed to take the kids to Mama's house. I know that it would be handled by a transporter. A person who is hired by CPS to do this regularly. I can't imagine they can have too many feelings left. I know what it does to the CPS workers, I've seen several come in ready to change the world, and leave a year later with no wind left in their sails.
I cannot imagine not knowing where my babies are, neither can I imagine my babies wondering where their family is and why they aren't coming. I can't imagine the hope they'd lose when they gave up the hope we were coming. Of course the other side can argue that as well. Mama can say "I don't know where my babies are." the difference? I have done nothing to harm these kids. I don't date men who terrorize my children. I have provided a home, a vehicle and financial support for them. I tolerate the endless visits from CPS, from licensing, the looking in my fridge and cupboards. The annual moving of the smoke alarms. I have complied with all the senseless requests and have a ready answer for whatever questions are presented. I haven't been in jail and wouldn't have tested positive for drugs.
Does this make me a better person? No. Just one who is making better choices. I'm not going to let Mama suck me into her game. I'm not going to coach the kids to tell her they already live at home. I'm going to deal with my frustrations with raising three pre-schoolers, with the help of my husband. And I'm going to rest assured that my kids ARE home and pray that the state will soon figure it out.
I don't know if Mama thinks there may still be some hope for them to return to her home, or if she is trying to use the kids to upset me. The words are not what bother me, it's the four year old wondering if I will get to see him later. Remember, this boy has lived in six other homes, he has legitimate fear that one day I won't be there.
Even a week ago I was resolved to let this case go where it may. I told myself that if it were God's will I'd even help Mama get her kid's back. This case has been so weird and unusual I wonder on a daily basis what my role here is....that was until I talked to the four year old. He was wondering where Mama lived. I'll spare the details, but the conversation ended with him asking if he could live at home forever. Remembering we've established that home is here.
That got my mind going. I can hardly get out the door at childrens' church, could I really think that I could ever hand the babies that have lived in our home for three years to a stranger, who would take them to a strange place. Could I answer their pleadings of "mom where are you going and when will you be back?" Decidedly not. I dislike the histrionics of born of the heart families who make a transition home worse, I get it, but would hope that I would make it easier on the kids.
I cannot conceive the thought of that scene. I know that for "privacy" reasons I would not be allowed to take the kids to Mama's house. I know that it would be handled by a transporter. A person who is hired by CPS to do this regularly. I can't imagine they can have too many feelings left. I know what it does to the CPS workers, I've seen several come in ready to change the world, and leave a year later with no wind left in their sails.
I cannot imagine not knowing where my babies are, neither can I imagine my babies wondering where their family is and why they aren't coming. I can't imagine the hope they'd lose when they gave up the hope we were coming. Of course the other side can argue that as well. Mama can say "I don't know where my babies are." the difference? I have done nothing to harm these kids. I don't date men who terrorize my children. I have provided a home, a vehicle and financial support for them. I tolerate the endless visits from CPS, from licensing, the looking in my fridge and cupboards. The annual moving of the smoke alarms. I have complied with all the senseless requests and have a ready answer for whatever questions are presented. I haven't been in jail and wouldn't have tested positive for drugs.
Does this make me a better person? No. Just one who is making better choices. I'm not going to let Mama suck me into her game. I'm not going to coach the kids to tell her they already live at home. I'm going to deal with my frustrations with raising three pre-schoolers, with the help of my husband. And I'm going to rest assured that my kids ARE home and pray that the state will soon figure it out.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Divine Intervention
Have you ever wondered if God ever steps in and saves you from a mistake you can't or won't see coming.
This past weekend I read of a guy where fate intervened in a big way and yet with all the signs flashing neon "no, no, no", the guy still didn't get it.
This guy decided that he was going to "pop the question" in a big way. Of course as a girl I have my opinions as to the execution of thought on his part, but will give him the credit for thinking outside the box. This is something girls don't do easily. We want our boys to do spectacular things and when their ideas and don't fit ours we get funky.
So, this guy is going to "pop" the question by putting a $12,000 ring inside a balloon, inside a balloon bouquet. Well, call it what you will, divine intervention, bad luck or simply wind, but he steps out of the door with his giant balloon bouquet and there it goes up, up, and away.
I'm the kind of girl who would gladly exchange the 12K ring for a story like that. But I'm also the kind of girl who'd rather have 11K and a smaller ring, but that's me and this ain't about me.....but his fiance' heard the story, threw a fit, and is refusing to speak to him until he gets her a new one.
This is where he didn't get it. He hung his head and said "well, guess I gotta go get her a new one". NO NO NO NO. This is where it will only cost you 12K to get her out of your life. It'll be cheaper in the long run. If she has to have "the" ring, then she's gonna need "the" car and "the" house and "the" this and "the" that. Go find youself a girl who's happy with the stories that built your life not the symbols that prove to others that she's got one, no matter how miserably she or you came about the symbols.
This past weekend I read of a guy where fate intervened in a big way and yet with all the signs flashing neon "no, no, no", the guy still didn't get it.
This guy decided that he was going to "pop the question" in a big way. Of course as a girl I have my opinions as to the execution of thought on his part, but will give him the credit for thinking outside the box. This is something girls don't do easily. We want our boys to do spectacular things and when their ideas and don't fit ours we get funky.
So, this guy is going to "pop" the question by putting a $12,000 ring inside a balloon, inside a balloon bouquet. Well, call it what you will, divine intervention, bad luck or simply wind, but he steps out of the door with his giant balloon bouquet and there it goes up, up, and away.
I'm the kind of girl who would gladly exchange the 12K ring for a story like that. But I'm also the kind of girl who'd rather have 11K and a smaller ring, but that's me and this ain't about me.....but his fiance' heard the story, threw a fit, and is refusing to speak to him until he gets her a new one.
This is where he didn't get it. He hung his head and said "well, guess I gotta go get her a new one". NO NO NO NO. This is where it will only cost you 12K to get her out of your life. It'll be cheaper in the long run. If she has to have "the" ring, then she's gonna need "the" car and "the" house and "the" this and "the" that. Go find youself a girl who's happy with the stories that built your life not the symbols that prove to others that she's got one, no matter how miserably she or you came about the symbols.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
It ain't easy being green
I don't know if you know this or not, but talk radio is pretty right wing. Today I was listening to them say that being "green" does nothing for the earth. There are some studies to support the fact that some people do a little green to appease their consciences and have a "larger footprint" than people who do nothing. This is akin to the dieter who walks around the block to make up for two bags of M&M's. But to say that it is better to do nothing is a little crazy, and again normal doesn't sell ad time.
Their main contention this morning was compact fluorescent bulbs. They contain mercury, and in ten years when we all start throwing those bulbs into the landfill the mercury will leech out and kill us all. Turns out they do contain mercury. Turns out there are special disposal instructions, but rather than spending our energies educating let's whine and cry that the hippies are ruining our lives.
You may or may not remember twenty years ago the whole "recycling" of plastic shopping bags was nothing more than a warehouse in Wisconsin that was storing them until an affordable technology became available. Now they make everything out of plastic shopping bags, even decks. Warehouse guy is probably making some good money these days.....
I don't even use plastic bags anymore, not a matter of greenness or not, it was that they were taking over my life. I'm quite certain our shopping habits generated 50 or so shopping bags per week. Bags which I could not bear to throw out, because I'd like to be green, 100's of bags that hung out in my laundry room waiting for a better idea. We use them for liners in our little trash cans, for stinky diapers, in the shredder and whatever else we can come up with, but there came a point, where we would never overcome the deficit unless we just plain stopped. I in my former residence would use my own shopping bags, but when we moved here "green" was not big, it wasn't born or even conceived, it didn't exist. Even the whole food store gave us the option of plastic or plastic. I tried several times to bring my own bags, I got one of three results....
1: they'd ask for a price check
2: they'd put my groceries into a plastic bag before placing it in my own bag.
3: they'd wad my bags up and put them in plastic bags.
For the sake of my criminal record, I chose to use plastic rather than strangle those who lacked sufficient gray matter. Until my laundry room looked like a warehouse in Wisconsin.
So, late last year I bought one of those rolling file carts at Office Depot and leave it in the back of my car, throughout the day I take my cute little bags to the stores I visit, put in my one or two items, and deposit them into the file box in the bag of my car. When I'm done shopping at ten different places, I have one box to take in, and zero plastic. I may not single handedly save the planet, but I've saved the laundry room 500 bags.
I doubt my family will ever get to the point that we are so green we're "freegans" but we're trying to have tiny little footprints. We buy high quality stuff that won't need to be replaced next week, we recycle what we can, when we can. We use reusable products rather than disposable, we use plastic containers rather than plastic bags. Our furniture is at best second hand. And when the day comes that our compact fluorescents should die, unless the hippies have taken our computers, I will Google "proper disposal of compact fluorescents" and have faith that someone has come up with a money making solution to the problem by them. They always do.
Their main contention this morning was compact fluorescent bulbs. They contain mercury, and in ten years when we all start throwing those bulbs into the landfill the mercury will leech out and kill us all. Turns out they do contain mercury. Turns out there are special disposal instructions, but rather than spending our energies educating let's whine and cry that the hippies are ruining our lives.
You may or may not remember twenty years ago the whole "recycling" of plastic shopping bags was nothing more than a warehouse in Wisconsin that was storing them until an affordable technology became available. Now they make everything out of plastic shopping bags, even decks. Warehouse guy is probably making some good money these days.....
I don't even use plastic bags anymore, not a matter of greenness or not, it was that they were taking over my life. I'm quite certain our shopping habits generated 50 or so shopping bags per week. Bags which I could not bear to throw out, because I'd like to be green, 100's of bags that hung out in my laundry room waiting for a better idea. We use them for liners in our little trash cans, for stinky diapers, in the shredder and whatever else we can come up with, but there came a point, where we would never overcome the deficit unless we just plain stopped. I in my former residence would use my own shopping bags, but when we moved here "green" was not big, it wasn't born or even conceived, it didn't exist. Even the whole food store gave us the option of plastic or plastic. I tried several times to bring my own bags, I got one of three results....
1: they'd ask for a price check
2: they'd put my groceries into a plastic bag before placing it in my own bag.
3: they'd wad my bags up and put them in plastic bags.
For the sake of my criminal record, I chose to use plastic rather than strangle those who lacked sufficient gray matter. Until my laundry room looked like a warehouse in Wisconsin.
So, late last year I bought one of those rolling file carts at Office Depot and leave it in the back of my car, throughout the day I take my cute little bags to the stores I visit, put in my one or two items, and deposit them into the file box in the bag of my car. When I'm done shopping at ten different places, I have one box to take in, and zero plastic. I may not single handedly save the planet, but I've saved the laundry room 500 bags.
I doubt my family will ever get to the point that we are so green we're "freegans" but we're trying to have tiny little footprints. We buy high quality stuff that won't need to be replaced next week, we recycle what we can, when we can. We use reusable products rather than disposable, we use plastic containers rather than plastic bags. Our furniture is at best second hand. And when the day comes that our compact fluorescents should die, unless the hippies have taken our computers, I will Google "proper disposal of compact fluorescents" and have faith that someone has come up with a money making solution to the problem by them. They always do.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
...my new favorite picture.
It is not my favorite because it is me and hubby still holding hands after eleven years, although that is very nice. I'm very blessed. It's my favorite because it was taken by my daughter. It gives some insight into her world. Until I saw this photo I figured she only saw us as the annoying people paying her bills. It's nice to see that she appreciates us being us, even thought she'd totally deny it and hates being around us.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
..I was amused, proud, scared.
OK. Every parent has gone through the whole negotiating with a toddler thing. It actually doesn't end when they hit school, it just becomes different. If you've watched even one episode of Supernanny or a Dr. Phil parenting tip show you know that there are no exceptions to the rule....Never negotiate with a toddler.
So, as a parent of many, for almost eighteen years I had thought I'd heard it all.
I need a drink.
I need to pee.
I need to poop.
I need some extra love.
I'm going to barf.
I need to do laundry.
I need something signed.
I forgot......
That is until today. I am not a morning person. It has never been a stated rule, but people have figured out that you don't talk to mom until she's had a hot shower and a cold coke. Well, along with a broken water heater, I was just in a lousy mood this morning. We were on our way to church and a song that was annoying me came on and I turned off the radio. This did not sit well with the maestros in the back seat. I told them, no we were not turning it on. Period.
Of course little middle boy decided that he would argue the point. And what came out of his mouth amused me, I took great pride in his thought process and I became frightened for my future. Thankfully, his criminal genius is currently limited by his three year old brain. But if he can negotiate like this as a three year old, what is in store for us?
Before I go on, let me tell you. There is very little negotiating in our house. The offers are lobbied but are not often received. I will give thought to poop and barf. Other than that, you must deal with whatever it is on your own. Now little middle is still not our "real boy" so there are special exceptions that we must consider or face consequences from the state. So, if you hear about us on the news it is because we ignored this cry for help.
....but my heart stopped beeping.
So, as a parent of many, for almost eighteen years I had thought I'd heard it all.
I need a drink.
I need to pee.
I need to poop.
I need some extra love.
I'm going to barf.
I need to do laundry.
I need something signed.
I forgot......
That is until today. I am not a morning person. It has never been a stated rule, but people have figured out that you don't talk to mom until she's had a hot shower and a cold coke. Well, along with a broken water heater, I was just in a lousy mood this morning. We were on our way to church and a song that was annoying me came on and I turned off the radio. This did not sit well with the maestros in the back seat. I told them, no we were not turning it on. Period.
Of course little middle boy decided that he would argue the point. And what came out of his mouth amused me, I took great pride in his thought process and I became frightened for my future. Thankfully, his criminal genius is currently limited by his three year old brain. But if he can negotiate like this as a three year old, what is in store for us?
Before I go on, let me tell you. There is very little negotiating in our house. The offers are lobbied but are not often received. I will give thought to poop and barf. Other than that, you must deal with whatever it is on your own. Now little middle is still not our "real boy" so there are special exceptions that we must consider or face consequences from the state. So, if you hear about us on the news it is because we ignored this cry for help.
....but my heart stopped beeping.
Monday, January 21, 2008
...uh duh
So, it was the twins birthday yesterday, they turned three, guess how many candles I put on the cake. Two. Luckily they will not be scarred for life, from that anyway. There is no photographic evidence. More proof that I'm a horrible parent all the way around.
Yesterday our pastor encouraged us to look for the good in things. So, the good is that age is only a number. I have the mental image, and the fruit was a major component of the cake. I'm awesome.
I'm hoping the terrible two's are but a memory. And that that season of my life is over. If the past three years haven't cured my baby fever, then there is no cure. I'm looking forward to doing stuff with them. We can almost make it through a meal out, they are pretty good in the car. Booger, (baby boy) was watching Ocean's 11 with us today and wants to go see the fountains at the Bellagio, (he always was my favorite). Pretty, pretty princess does an awesome rendition of "Newark, Newark" you know, "I want to be a part of it".
So, HAPPY DURPAY, babies. Next year, I'll do better.
Yesterday our pastor encouraged us to look for the good in things. So, the good is that age is only a number. I have the mental image, and the fruit was a major component of the cake. I'm awesome.
I'm hoping the terrible two's are but a memory. And that that season of my life is over. If the past three years haven't cured my baby fever, then there is no cure. I'm looking forward to doing stuff with them. We can almost make it through a meal out, they are pretty good in the car. Booger, (baby boy) was watching Ocean's 11 with us today and wants to go see the fountains at the Bellagio, (he always was my favorite). Pretty, pretty princess does an awesome rendition of "Newark, Newark" you know, "I want to be a part of it".
So, HAPPY DURPAY, babies. Next year, I'll do better.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
I Could Be More Diplomatic
So the fam was at the pool the other day, like always. We are big swimmers. It's a cheap rain or shine activity for three active toddlers. Most of the regulars know that we swim at the same time each week and avoid the pool like a plague. This being a new year there are a bunch of new year resolutioners out there and they are in awe of our baby swimmers.
The one thing I can count on with little middle boy is he is in on everything. On Sunday one lil ol' lady was chatting me up about how precious our babies were and so amazed that they were swimming so well at such a young age. Well little middle saw and stashed away that information for later use.
I was not in the pool, but on the side observing closely. Hubby was in the pool, the new lifeguard came and asked me how well the babies could swim. I told her they could each swim at least the width of the pool if they had to. She went back to her post, but again lil middle noticed.
It was not too long before the attention had turned away from lil middle. He does not like not being noticed. I was focused mainly on him, the lifeguard and the little ol' lady turned their attentions elsewhere. So what does lil middle do? He swims to the middle of the pool and starts screaming. Well I'd never seen clothes fly off so fast as that lifeguards did. I yelled at the lifeguard that he was ok and to not go in after him, lil ol lady got him and I had a few unpleasant words with her, thus the title of this entry. Ok, now that you think I'm the worst parent ever let me explain.
Lil middle is not your normal three year old. He has an attachment disorder. He feels the need to control all situations, but it conflicts with his need to know his parents are in charge. He was unable to trust his primary adults in his life. Not once, not twice, but six times before he came to us he had adults who could be manipulated by him, and who gave up on him when they were tired of not being in charge.
He cannot (usually) manipulate us. He is smart and we are human so occasionally he gets away with stuff, but not when we are on our game.
The pool situation bothered me in several ways. First, we are pretty darned good parents. We have evidence by having pretty darned good teens. It bothered me that a stranger would think otherwise. Of course they only saw a dad goofing off with his other kids and a mom not even bothering to get in the pool. They could not see our hearts. Secondly, a total stranger was able to undermine our authority with this child. I doubt that lil middle now thinks of us as incompetent, but if these things continue to happen it might give him pause one day.
So you'll be happy to know that while Ma & Pa were being lectured on water safety, lil middle was off diving for rocks in the deep end. The responsibility for educating the public on my child's psychological disorders falls mainly on me. I need to come up with something better than "get your hands off my child".
We love this child as our own. We have more to lose than anyone else should something happen to him. Know that we will not put him in danger, but also know we expect him to know his limits and will let him experience some pain and hardship should he choose to go beyond them. We know how amazing he is and we only have fourteen more years to teach him to see it in himself. He can do it on his own so please let him, even if it's hard to watch.
The one thing I can count on with little middle boy is he is in on everything. On Sunday one lil ol' lady was chatting me up about how precious our babies were and so amazed that they were swimming so well at such a young age. Well little middle saw and stashed away that information for later use.
I was not in the pool, but on the side observing closely. Hubby was in the pool, the new lifeguard came and asked me how well the babies could swim. I told her they could each swim at least the width of the pool if they had to. She went back to her post, but again lil middle noticed.
It was not too long before the attention had turned away from lil middle. He does not like not being noticed. I was focused mainly on him, the lifeguard and the little ol' lady turned their attentions elsewhere. So what does lil middle do? He swims to the middle of the pool and starts screaming. Well I'd never seen clothes fly off so fast as that lifeguards did. I yelled at the lifeguard that he was ok and to not go in after him, lil ol lady got him and I had a few unpleasant words with her, thus the title of this entry. Ok, now that you think I'm the worst parent ever let me explain.
Lil middle is not your normal three year old. He has an attachment disorder. He feels the need to control all situations, but it conflicts with his need to know his parents are in charge. He was unable to trust his primary adults in his life. Not once, not twice, but six times before he came to us he had adults who could be manipulated by him, and who gave up on him when they were tired of not being in charge.
He cannot (usually) manipulate us. He is smart and we are human so occasionally he gets away with stuff, but not when we are on our game.
The pool situation bothered me in several ways. First, we are pretty darned good parents. We have evidence by having pretty darned good teens. It bothered me that a stranger would think otherwise. Of course they only saw a dad goofing off with his other kids and a mom not even bothering to get in the pool. They could not see our hearts. Secondly, a total stranger was able to undermine our authority with this child. I doubt that lil middle now thinks of us as incompetent, but if these things continue to happen it might give him pause one day.
So you'll be happy to know that while Ma & Pa were being lectured on water safety, lil middle was off diving for rocks in the deep end. The responsibility for educating the public on my child's psychological disorders falls mainly on me. I need to come up with something better than "get your hands off my child".
We love this child as our own. We have more to lose than anyone else should something happen to him. Know that we will not put him in danger, but also know we expect him to know his limits and will let him experience some pain and hardship should he choose to go beyond them. We know how amazing he is and we only have fourteen more years to teach him to see it in himself. He can do it on his own so please let him, even if it's hard to watch.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
My 2 and a Half Cents Worth
I wish I were making this up....
Today I received a cancellation notice from my insurance company. They have no record of receiving a payment from me and if I don't pay my bill in full by next week, they are going to kick me to the curb. I owe them $0.34 - lock me up and throw away the key. It cost them 31.5 cents to mail this notice to me. How much does paper, envelope to send it and a printed envelope for me to send back cost? Stickin' it to the man.
Today I received a cancellation notice from my insurance company. They have no record of receiving a payment from me and if I don't pay my bill in full by next week, they are going to kick me to the curb. I owe them $0.34 - lock me up and throw away the key. It cost them 31.5 cents to mail this notice to me. How much does paper, envelope to send it and a printed envelope for me to send back cost? Stickin' it to the man.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
...I am not the worst parent in the world.
OK, I'd probably watch a train wreck, but I like to watch "reality" shows. I watch several and realize that "it's the editing", but this week in reality has been quite entertaining.
First was Wife Swap. I originally did not want to watch this solely based on title, but I do watch it. These women are idiots, they apparently think they have some special power that will make them different from the other 100 women who have been on this show. Each and every one of them spend two miserable weeks living with another family. This week was a feminazi vs. beauty pageant mom. I had issue with the faminazi but the beauty pageant mom, YIKES!!! She does her daughter's school work. The family spends $100,000 PER YEAR, beauty pageanting. They eat out every meal, because dear old daughter doesn't like food at home. They even show a clip of mom trying to make daughter breakfast, it was cereal and milk and she didn't do it to her daughter's high standards. It was cereal and milk. They keep a Christmas tree up year round so that they can leave a present under it EVERY DAY for darling daughter. They show dad airbrush tanning the daughter, that might be inappropriate. After rule change they kicked the feminazi out for suggesting that it was cheating for the daughter to turn in someone else's work. Look out world this girl wants to be a dentist, mom will probably do all of her work then too.
Secondly, two episodes of Supernanny. First up was a family with three kids, all preschool aged. Two of them TWINS. I empathize. This family wouldn't let the kids leave the room without a parent. Despite having 100's of acres they wouldn't let the kids walk twenty feet in front of them. They held the kids down three times a day to brush their teeth and wondered why the kids never wanted to brush their teeth. I'm old school, the first set is for practice, you're going to lose them anyway.
Second Supernanny family, the parents were so clueless they didn't know they needed the Supernanny. It was the teenagers who called in. The family consisted of Mom, Dad, 17 year old girl, 14 year old girl, four year old boy and two year old TWINS, I see a pattern, again I feel your pain. Mom and Dad had the brilliant idea that despite having five kids they needed a life, and they didn't need childcare because they had two teenagers. So instead of sending the babies to daycare, they "homeschooled" the teens. And since the girls were home all day they might as well, cook clean and watch the kiddos. Mom could not be bothered with her own babies when she got home from work either. Now I do admit to slacking in the evening at times, but I at least do the majority of the home making, I don't clean often though.
The insanity cake taker had to be My Super Sweet Sixteen. The Blingest. Brat number one wanted a rapper to perform at her party, couldn't get rapper management company to take her seriously. Daddy flies her and her friends to the recording studio to let her beg them to come to her party. The rapper asked her who was going to pay for it, she said "Daddy", rapper was like, whatever as long as we get our $85,000 we'll come. Unfortunately that was the least lame thing she did. She had her boyfriend compete with her crush to see who could take her to her party. Despite the fact that the boyfriend won the bowling, won the arm wrestling, won the who can hold two bowling balls up the longest contests, she still picked her crush. Chickadee please have the guts to break up with someone, and Dude, don't demean yourself. All told this party cost not 1, not 2, not 3, but over 4 HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. And she only came in third for costliest party.
Other outlandish Super Sweet Sixteen moments, a Moulin Rouge themed party. Hello mom, it's a whore house. $295,000 for jewelry for the evening. A stretch Hummer for an everyday car for a girl who can't drive, complete with vending machine so she can make money off of her friends. And a seamstress who had the audacity to want to be paid $1200 before she handed over the costume she'd worked hard on and been abused for.
So, I'm happy to say that I can't and won't get my kids everything they ever want. Maybe one day they'll actually be able to get married and be happy.
First was Wife Swap. I originally did not want to watch this solely based on title, but I do watch it. These women are idiots, they apparently think they have some special power that will make them different from the other 100 women who have been on this show. Each and every one of them spend two miserable weeks living with another family. This week was a feminazi vs. beauty pageant mom. I had issue with the faminazi but the beauty pageant mom, YIKES!!! She does her daughter's school work. The family spends $100,000 PER YEAR, beauty pageanting. They eat out every meal, because dear old daughter doesn't like food at home. They even show a clip of mom trying to make daughter breakfast, it was cereal and milk and she didn't do it to her daughter's high standards. It was cereal and milk. They keep a Christmas tree up year round so that they can leave a present under it EVERY DAY for darling daughter. They show dad airbrush tanning the daughter, that might be inappropriate. After rule change they kicked the feminazi out for suggesting that it was cheating for the daughter to turn in someone else's work. Look out world this girl wants to be a dentist, mom will probably do all of her work then too.
Secondly, two episodes of Supernanny. First up was a family with three kids, all preschool aged. Two of them TWINS. I empathize. This family wouldn't let the kids leave the room without a parent. Despite having 100's of acres they wouldn't let the kids walk twenty feet in front of them. They held the kids down three times a day to brush their teeth and wondered why the kids never wanted to brush their teeth. I'm old school, the first set is for practice, you're going to lose them anyway.
Second Supernanny family, the parents were so clueless they didn't know they needed the Supernanny. It was the teenagers who called in. The family consisted of Mom, Dad, 17 year old girl, 14 year old girl, four year old boy and two year old TWINS, I see a pattern, again I feel your pain. Mom and Dad had the brilliant idea that despite having five kids they needed a life, and they didn't need childcare because they had two teenagers. So instead of sending the babies to daycare, they "homeschooled" the teens. And since the girls were home all day they might as well, cook clean and watch the kiddos. Mom could not be bothered with her own babies when she got home from work either. Now I do admit to slacking in the evening at times, but I at least do the majority of the home making, I don't clean often though.
The insanity cake taker had to be My Super Sweet Sixteen. The Blingest. Brat number one wanted a rapper to perform at her party, couldn't get rapper management company to take her seriously. Daddy flies her and her friends to the recording studio to let her beg them to come to her party. The rapper asked her who was going to pay for it, she said "Daddy", rapper was like, whatever as long as we get our $85,000 we'll come. Unfortunately that was the least lame thing she did. She had her boyfriend compete with her crush to see who could take her to her party. Despite the fact that the boyfriend won the bowling, won the arm wrestling, won the who can hold two bowling balls up the longest contests, she still picked her crush. Chickadee please have the guts to break up with someone, and Dude, don't demean yourself. All told this party cost not 1, not 2, not 3, but over 4 HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. And she only came in third for costliest party.
Other outlandish Super Sweet Sixteen moments, a Moulin Rouge themed party. Hello mom, it's a whore house. $295,000 for jewelry for the evening. A stretch Hummer for an everyday car for a girl who can't drive, complete with vending machine so she can make money off of her friends. And a seamstress who had the audacity to want to be paid $1200 before she handed over the costume she'd worked hard on and been abused for.
So, I'm happy to say that I can't and won't get my kids everything they ever want. Maybe one day they'll actually be able to get married and be happy.
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