Sunday, May 4, 2008

...Stupid Kids

A crotchety old man muttered those words today at the pool. In reference to my little ones. I ignored it. What was I going to say. They're not stupid. I'd have used a different word, but for the sake of what may be a point, we'll stick with stupid.

Yes, my kids are stupid. All kids are stupid. Why do you think they stick around for eighteen years? They are stupid and slow learners. This is also why they are so cute right out of the package, we have to fall in love with them before we realize just how stupid they are. How many times do we have to tell them to pick up their shoes, or brush their teeth? Approximately 989,000 times. Stupid and slow and loved.

Of course I am even more stupid and slow. My darling husband hoped today that I would one day learn to put my dishes in the sink. Maybe he's stupid and slow.

But how many times do we have to go through the same problems before we figure them out? Approximately 989,000 times. I know my babies cannot stay up past 8:00 - by 8:30 they melt down, which results in my meltdown, which just is not the way to spend an evening. I KNOW that if they are bathed and in bed by 8:00 they will go to bed happy, whining but happy, and I will have a nice quiet evening with the rest of the family. But nooooo, I rationalize them staying up with the dream that they will sleep in. They don't. Morning time sleepiness does not kick in until the third day of Kindergarten. It then becomes chronic.

It would be so much easier if we just did what we knew we had to do when we had to do it. Wouldn't it? We know, we're not that stupid, and yet we get paid $100 and spend $150. We wonder why that other mom at school is so skinny, the one always wearing workout clothes. We ponder this each afternoon over a chocolate shake or a 44 oz. coke. We are all just stupid and slow and loved.

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Cast of Characters

  • BOB - Born of the body children
  • BOTH - Born of the heart children
  • Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
  • Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
  • Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
  • Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
  • Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
  • Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,