Saturday, January 5, 2008

...I am not the worst parent in the world.

OK, I'd probably watch a train wreck, but I like to watch "reality" shows. I watch several and realize that "it's the editing", but this week in reality has been quite entertaining.

First was Wife Swap. I originally did not want to watch this solely based on title, but I do watch it. These women are idiots, they apparently think they have some special power that will make them different from the other 100 women who have been on this show. Each and every one of them spend two miserable weeks living with another family. This week was a feminazi vs. beauty pageant mom. I had issue with the faminazi but the beauty pageant mom, YIKES!!! She does her daughter's school work. The family spends $100,000 PER YEAR, beauty pageanting. They eat out every meal, because dear old daughter doesn't like food at home. They even show a clip of mom trying to make daughter breakfast, it was cereal and milk and she didn't do it to her daughter's high standards. It was cereal and milk. They keep a Christmas tree up year round so that they can leave a present under it EVERY DAY for darling daughter. They show dad airbrush tanning the daughter, that might be inappropriate. After rule change they kicked the feminazi out for suggesting that it was cheating for the daughter to turn in someone else's work. Look out world this girl wants to be a dentist, mom will probably do all of her work then too.

Secondly, two episodes of Supernanny. First up was a family with three kids, all preschool aged. Two of them TWINS. I empathize. This family wouldn't let the kids leave the room without a parent. Despite having 100's of acres they wouldn't let the kids walk twenty feet in front of them. They held the kids down three times a day to brush their teeth and wondered why the kids never wanted to brush their teeth. I'm old school, the first set is for practice, you're going to lose them anyway.

Second Supernanny family, the parents were so clueless they didn't know they needed the Supernanny. It was the teenagers who called in. The family consisted of Mom, Dad, 17 year old girl, 14 year old girl, four year old boy and two year old TWINS, I see a pattern, again I feel your pain. Mom and Dad had the brilliant idea that despite having five kids they needed a life, and they didn't need childcare because they had two teenagers. So instead of sending the babies to daycare, they "homeschooled" the teens. And since the girls were home all day they might as well, cook clean and watch the kiddos. Mom could not be bothered with her own babies when she got home from work either. Now I do admit to slacking in the evening at times, but I at least do the majority of the home making, I don't clean often though.

The insanity cake taker had to be My Super Sweet Sixteen. The Blingest. Brat number one wanted a rapper to perform at her party, couldn't get rapper management company to take her seriously. Daddy flies her and her friends to the recording studio to let her beg them to come to her party. The rapper asked her who was going to pay for it, she said "Daddy", rapper was like, whatever as long as we get our $85,000 we'll come. Unfortunately that was the least lame thing she did. She had her boyfriend compete with her crush to see who could take her to her party. Despite the fact that the boyfriend won the bowling, won the arm wrestling, won the who can hold two bowling balls up the longest contests, she still picked her crush. Chickadee please have the guts to break up with someone, and Dude, don't demean yourself. All told this party cost not 1, not 2, not 3, but over 4 HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. And she only came in third for costliest party.

Other outlandish Super Sweet Sixteen moments, a Moulin Rouge themed party. Hello mom, it's a whore house. $295,000 for jewelry for the evening. A stretch Hummer for an everyday car for a girl who can't drive, complete with vending machine so she can make money off of her friends. And a seamstress who had the audacity to want to be paid $1200 before she handed over the costume she'd worked hard on and been abused for.

So, I'm happy to say that I can't and won't get my kids everything they ever want. Maybe one day they'll actually be able to get married and be happy.

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Cast of Characters

  • BOB - Born of the body children
  • BOTH - Born of the heart children
  • Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
  • Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
  • Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
  • Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
  • Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
  • Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,