Wednesday, February 4, 2009

...of my first book

Yea, I'm going to write a book, unfortunately by the time it comes out, there will be no one left who actually knows what a book is. I'm going to call it NUTS - a. 'cause I am, and b. everyone is so big on capitalized letters that make a word but mean something else. NUTS is going to be the New Unimproved Testament, the S will be there to throw everyone off.

I always wanted to have a "Breakfast at Tiffany's" moment where I go into a library and pull MY CARD out of the card catalog and then sing a song while someone retrieves it, and I go "that's me, that's me, that's me" but thanks to evolution, there aren't any card catologs left. Just computers that you can't ever get on. Let the dream die Annie.

Now, I'm not saying that I can actually improve on the Testaments, I'm not getting any "special insight" if you know what I mean. I'm not hoarding firearms for Armegeddon, nor do I have enough food to last 7 days in my house. I am just taking common Biblical phrases and making them fit into my harried brain.

For example.....

"Where two or more are gathered..." will now include, 'there is bound to be a fight.' Amen, sista. You know this is true if you've ever belonged to a club of any sorts, had more than one child, been married longer than four days, you know it's true.

My husband is a disc golfer. There is a club for that. They fight. He used to belong to a windsurfing club. They fought. I have installed a handy chin rest in all of the corners for the little ones to rest their chins on because they are there so much. Of course my favorite response to all of the disc golf club fighting has been "We Throw Frisbees" a slight variation on WTF. I have lost a follower on each of the days I mention my feelings about a certain President. Now, I'll leave it to you to search the archives to find out which one, but please. We throw frisbees.

Now I only have to think of 36 more chapters. It'll be out on Kindle, and I'll come over and we can watch the status bar together as it downloads.

Fare thee well, until another day.


Rachel said...

I will, hereafter, be using "We Throw Frisbees" on a very regular basis.

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

disk golf is one of lifes greatest mysteries, wtf for sure.

Click this and I will send you flair:)

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Cast of Characters

  • BOB - Born of the body children
  • BOTH - Born of the heart children
  • Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
  • Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
  • Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
  • Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
  • Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
  • Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,