Wednesday, February 4, 2009

...I want to be on TV

Not for real, but I sometimes wish I could have a TV life. All my disagreements would be resolved with a hug and a kiss in thirty short minutes. Companies would pay $10,000,000 a second to advertise with me. I could be Sylar. He's so bad, and I think I may love him, even more so that I know he goes all geek in the future. I have a soft spot for the geeks. I hope my daughter marries a geek, or Josh Groban, or Michael Phelps.

Also, if I had a tv life, there would be no right and no wrong, just what works into the story line and keeps the advertisers happy. Wrong could actually be right if I were sexy enough to play myself on tv. I could lose 30 lbs by Friday, and still eat whatever I want, because that's how it works on tv.

But as I go through life I realize that there is no writer who can come up with the stuff that happens in real life. On tv when a baby is named after a condiment it's funny, in real life, well as long as it ain't your kid, no it's funny, but you still feel for the kid. Also, when a plane is going down and the pilot saves 150 odd people, that's great, but short lived, but in real life. So, awesome. And today I heard on the radio that the pilot had left a library book on the plane. Really, you were too busy making a successful water landing in a river and getting 150 some odd people off the plane before it submerged into 40 degree water to go back for your book? Puleez. But anyway, the pilot contacted the library and told them that he'd lost the book on the bottom of the Hudson and he would be getting them a new book asap, but if they could kindly waive any late charges, he'd appreciate it. And the name of the book. Ethics in Business - or something similar. Sounds like he'd already read it. And you can't write this stuff. Too good.

So, for now, I'll stick with real life. My awesome 9 year old boy who is sweet and kind and possibly a ticking time bomb, I don't know. How can a kid be so sweet all his life? My big girl who is no longer a girl, but an adult, with her own life, and now that I don't have to parent her, I can be her friend. So much better, parenting is overrated, when done right I think. At least the during part. So much time spent molding little minds, really, it would have been so much more fun to teach them colors incorrectly and just be more fun. But nooooo, I have to make sure they leave the house before they are 40 because I'm going to die soon and I want them to have a nice house for me to move into. I say I'm going to die soon, like relative to all of human existence, there isn't anything pending that I know of. Good thing, Big Girl lives in a two bedroom with two other girls. (and don't tell her, but it's not that nice) I really don't want to have to live there.

I really could not have written a better life for myself.


Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

I have a great idea for your tv show....

Rebekah said...

This is completely unrelated...but "That's what she said" graces our house OFTEN. You crack me up!

Click this and I will send you flair:)

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Cast of Characters

  • BOB - Born of the body children
  • BOTH - Born of the heart children
  • Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
  • Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
  • Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
  • Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
  • Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
  • Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,