...my new favorite picture.

It is not my favorite because it is me and hubby still holding hands after eleven years, although that is very nice. I'm very blessed. It's my favorite because it was taken by my daughter. It gives some insight into her world. Until I saw this photo I figured she only saw us as the annoying people paying her bills. It's nice to see that she appreciates us being us, even thought she'd totally deny it and hates being around us.

..I was amused, proud, scared.

OK. Every parent has gone through the whole negotiating with a toddler thing. It actually doesn't end when they hit school, it just becomes different. If you've watched even one episode of Supernanny or a Dr. Phil parenting tip show you know that there are no exceptions to the rule....Never negotiate with a toddler.

So, as a parent of many, for almost eighteen years I had thought I'd heard it all.

I need a drink.
I need to pee.
I need to poop.
I need some extra love.
I'm going to barf.
I need to do laundry.
I need something signed.
I forgot......

That is until today. I am not a morning person. It has never been a stated rule, but people have figured out that you don't talk to mom until she's had a hot shower and a cold coke. Well, along with a broken water heater, I was just in a lousy mood this morning. We were on our way to church and a song that was annoying me came on and I turned off the radio. This did not sit well with the maestros in the back seat. I told them, no we were not turning it on. Period.

Of course little middle boy decided that he would argue the point. And what came out of his mouth amused me, I took great pride in his thought process and I became frightened for my future. Thankfully, his criminal genius is currently limited by his three year old brain. But if he can negotiate like this as a three year old, what is in store for us?

Before I go on, let me tell you. There is very little negotiating in our house. The offers are lobbied but are not often received. I will give thought to poop and barf. Other than that, you must deal with whatever it is on your own. Now little middle is still not our "real boy" so there are special exceptions that we must consider or face consequences from the state. So, if you hear about us on the news it is because we ignored this cry for help.

....but my heart stopped beeping.

...uh duh

So, it was the twins birthday yesterday, they turned three, guess how many candles I put on the cake. Two. Luckily they will not be scarred for life, from that anyway. There is no photographic evidence. More proof that I'm a horrible parent all the way around.

Yesterday our pastor encouraged us to look for the good in things. So, the good is that age is only a number. I have the mental image, and the fruit was a major component of the cake. I'm awesome.

I'm hoping the terrible two's are but a memory. And that that season of my life is over. If the past three years haven't cured my baby fever, then there is no cure. I'm looking forward to doing stuff with them. We can almost make it through a meal out, they are pretty good in the car. Booger, (baby boy) was watching Ocean's 11 with us today and wants to go see the fountains at the Bellagio, (he always was my favorite). Pretty, pretty princess does an awesome rendition of "Newark, Newark" you know, "I want to be a part of it".

So, HAPPY DURPAY, babies. Next year, I'll do better.

Who Should You Vote For

2008 Election

Who is Your
Perfect Candidate?

I Could Be More Diplomatic

So the fam was at the pool the other day, like always. We are big swimmers. It's a cheap rain or shine activity for three active toddlers. Most of the regulars know that we swim at the same time each week and avoid the pool like a plague. This being a new year there are a bunch of new year resolutioners out there and they are in awe of our baby swimmers.

The one thing I can count on with little middle boy is he is in on everything. On Sunday one lil ol' lady was chatting me up about how precious our babies were and so amazed that they were swimming so well at such a young age. Well little middle saw and stashed away that information for later use.

I was not in the pool, but on the side observing closely. Hubby was in the pool, the new lifeguard came and asked me how well the babies could swim. I told her they could each swim at least the width of the pool if they had to. She went back to her post, but again lil middle noticed.

It was not too long before the attention had turned away from lil middle. He does not like not being noticed. I was focused mainly on him, the lifeguard and the little ol' lady turned their attentions elsewhere. So what does lil middle do? He swims to the middle of the pool and starts screaming. Well I'd never seen clothes fly off so fast as that lifeguards did. I yelled at the lifeguard that he was ok and to not go in after him, lil ol lady got him and I had a few unpleasant words with her, thus the title of this entry. Ok, now that you think I'm the worst parent ever let me explain.

Lil middle is not your normal three year old. He has an attachment disorder. He feels the need to control all situations, but it conflicts with his need to know his parents are in charge. He was unable to trust his primary adults in his life. Not once, not twice, but six times before he came to us he had adults who could be manipulated by him, and who gave up on him when they were tired of not being in charge.

He cannot (usually) manipulate us. He is smart and we are human so occasionally he gets away with stuff, but not when we are on our game.

The pool situation bothered me in several ways. First, we are pretty darned good parents. We have evidence by having pretty darned good teens. It bothered me that a stranger would think otherwise. Of course they only saw a dad goofing off with his other kids and a mom not even bothering to get in the pool. They could not see our hearts. Secondly, a total stranger was able to undermine our authority with this child. I doubt that lil middle now thinks of us as incompetent, but if these things continue to happen it might give him pause one day.

So you'll be happy to know that while Ma & Pa were being lectured on water safety, lil middle was off diving for rocks in the deep end. The responsibility for educating the public on my child's psychological disorders falls mainly on me. I need to come up with something better than "get your hands off my child".

We love this child as our own. We have more to lose than anyone else should something happen to him. Know that we will not put him in danger, but also know we expect him to know his limits and will let him experience some pain and hardship should he choose to go beyond them. We know how amazing he is and we only have fourteen more years to teach him to see it in himself. He can do it on his own so please let him, even if it's hard to watch.

My 2 and a Half Cents Worth

I wish I were making this up....

Today I received a cancellation notice from my insurance company. They have no record of receiving a payment from me and if I don't pay my bill in full by next week, they are going to kick me to the curb. I owe them $0.34 - lock me up and throw away the key. It cost them 31.5 cents to mail this notice to me. How much does paper, envelope to send it and a printed envelope for me to send back cost? Stickin' it to the man.

...I am not the worst parent in the world.

OK, I'd probably watch a train wreck, but I like to watch "reality" shows. I watch several and realize that "it's the editing", but this week in reality has been quite entertaining.

First was Wife Swap. I originally did not want to watch this solely based on title, but I do watch it. These women are idiots, they apparently think they have some special power that will make them different from the other 100 women who have been on this show. Each and every one of them spend two miserable weeks living with another family. This week was a feminazi vs. beauty pageant mom. I had issue with the faminazi but the beauty pageant mom, YIKES!!! She does her daughter's school work. The family spends $100,000 PER YEAR, beauty pageanting. They eat out every meal, because dear old daughter doesn't like food at home. They even show a clip of mom trying to make daughter breakfast, it was cereal and milk and she didn't do it to her daughter's high standards. It was cereal and milk. They keep a Christmas tree up year round so that they can leave a present under it EVERY DAY for darling daughter. They show dad airbrush tanning the daughter, that might be inappropriate. After rule change they kicked the feminazi out for suggesting that it was cheating for the daughter to turn in someone else's work. Look out world this girl wants to be a dentist, mom will probably do all of her work then too.

Secondly, two episodes of Supernanny. First up was a family with three kids, all preschool aged. Two of them TWINS. I empathize. This family wouldn't let the kids leave the room without a parent. Despite having 100's of acres they wouldn't let the kids walk twenty feet in front of them. They held the kids down three times a day to brush their teeth and wondered why the kids never wanted to brush their teeth. I'm old school, the first set is for practice, you're going to lose them anyway.

Second Supernanny family, the parents were so clueless they didn't know they needed the Supernanny. It was the teenagers who called in. The family consisted of Mom, Dad, 17 year old girl, 14 year old girl, four year old boy and two year old TWINS, I see a pattern, again I feel your pain. Mom and Dad had the brilliant idea that despite having five kids they needed a life, and they didn't need childcare because they had two teenagers. So instead of sending the babies to daycare, they "homeschooled" the teens. And since the girls were home all day they might as well, cook clean and watch the kiddos. Mom could not be bothered with her own babies when she got home from work either. Now I do admit to slacking in the evening at times, but I at least do the majority of the home making, I don't clean often though.

The insanity cake taker had to be My Super Sweet Sixteen. The Blingest. Brat number one wanted a rapper to perform at her party, couldn't get rapper management company to take her seriously. Daddy flies her and her friends to the recording studio to let her beg them to come to her party. The rapper asked her who was going to pay for it, she said "Daddy", rapper was like, whatever as long as we get our $85,000 we'll come. Unfortunately that was the least lame thing she did. She had her boyfriend compete with her crush to see who could take her to her party. Despite the fact that the boyfriend won the bowling, won the arm wrestling, won the who can hold two bowling balls up the longest contests, she still picked her crush. Chickadee please have the guts to break up with someone, and Dude, don't demean yourself. All told this party cost not 1, not 2, not 3, but over 4 HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. And she only came in third for costliest party.

Other outlandish Super Sweet Sixteen moments, a Moulin Rouge themed party. Hello mom, it's a whore house. $295,000 for jewelry for the evening. A stretch Hummer for an everyday car for a girl who can't drive, complete with vending machine so she can make money off of her friends. And a seamstress who had the audacity to want to be paid $1200 before she handed over the costume she'd worked hard on and been abused for.

So, I'm happy to say that I can't and won't get my kids everything they ever want. Maybe one day they'll actually be able to get married and be happy.