Monday, February 9, 2009 now know my secret, and I apologize in advance

I don't get out much. It takes little to entertain me. Yesterday, I was quite amused by the Sunday inserts. At times I can also be amused by the wedding announcements. Like I said, I don't get out much.

I don't get the scruffy looking guy, standing in the back of a Jeep. He has perfect hair, and is wearing no less than four shirts of varying length, and by the crispness of said shirts I can only guess they've been ironed. Like I said, I can only guess. So, layering is in, but are we supposed to believe that he's been on Safari for days and hasn't had a chance to shave? And really, who stands in the back of Jeep with a 'come hither' look?

Then there is the guy standing with his back to us in his undies. He's looking back over his shoulder as if to ask "you want me, don't you?" Yeah, I want you to put some clothes on.

Most favorite of the Men's clothing ads, the guy in his socks, t-shirt and boxers. He has one hand on his hip in what appears to be a thumbs up pose. I think it was supposed to imply that he is grabbing his shirt and going to take it off, but no, it just looks like he's playing gun fight in the mirror and he doesn't know we're watching.

That rounds out our fake reality of the day so, on to wedding announcements. And I apologize in advance to anyone I might offend. It's really nothing personal.

Peeve #1. The Bride Shot. Why not The Groom Shot?

Suzy got married to so and so. He's usually a doctor or something. There is a half page picture of the bride. No groom. It goes on to describe the dress down to the little woman who hand stitched it, probably under duress. We know where her flowers were grown and what fertilizer was used to get the 'stark' colors. The brides maids out number Miss America contestants, and we hear about the fabu honeymoon Dr. Somebody is taking her on. They will then return to their fabu home and have fabu children. Then Dr. Somebody will leave her for his scrub nurse. But we don't hear about that, because Dr. Somebody is only mentioned as the other party in the first line.

Call me old fashioned but I will take a marriage over a wedding any day of the week. I want to be a marriage planner when I grow up. Of course there would be some who might mistake me for a wedding planner and be quite upset. Most checklists look a little like this...

Travel Agent

Hey, whatever flowers they have will do. Stop at the sub shop and get the six foot long sub, and Travelocity.

Here's my list.

Financial Planner
Family Counselor
And your mother is no longer your best friend, get over it.

I'm going to be popular. I guess I should have a peeve #2, since I started the list and can't undo it, so...

Peeve #2 Planning the Wedding Instead of the Marriage.

I guess if we did that we might have less weddings. We might actually stay together. Marriage is a lot of work, and if you aren't willing to invest before hand then maybe you shouldn't have the wedding.

Now, I'm not saying that if you had "The Bride Shot" in the paper, that you have a horrible marriage, maybe you married someone with a great personality. Oh there I go again, I can't help myself. But this is about US, not U. For the record, we didn't bother putting our picture in the paper. Because when it came right down to it, anyone who cared had taken their own pictures and we have a fabu marriage. Of course we kind of stumbled into it after the fact, but with God all things are possible.

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Cast of Characters

  • BOB - Born of the body children
  • BOTH - Born of the heart children
  • Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
  • Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
  • Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
  • Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
  • Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
  • Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,