Tuesday, February 17, 2009

...that I grind my teeth

I found this out when I started going to my new dentist six months ago. He said the reason my molars kept imploding was that they were being crunched for hours on end every night. I'd been seeing my previous dentist for years, and when I say seeing, I mean buying her a new boat with all the repairs that were needed on my molars. Of course I could have just been given a bite guard, but nooooo. Now in addition to the thousands of dollars and hours of my life I'll never get back, I also need crowns.

In order to save myself $495 on a bite guard that my dental "insurance" won't pay for, I've been trying to self hypnotize myself from grinding my teeth. You know falling asleep to my brain repeating

"Do not grind your teeth, relax."
"Do not grind your teeth, relax."

I don't think it's working. I suspect the huge chunk missing from the inside of my cheek this morning is a result of the teeth grinding. I did run through the usual list of suspects, one being my husband who was sleeping next to me at the time of the alleged assault, or was he? Well, of all the things he's done to me while I was sleeping, I can safely say biting a chunk out of the inside of my right cheek has not been one of them. Which leaves me or a one armed man, (this reference is much older than last nights Sinead O'Connor reference, I declare it a winner, for now....)

This bugs the holy heck out of me. I have major bouts of dental anxiety. I need laughing gas to get my teeth cleaned. Getting crowns, I'm going to need sedation. I already have one crown, covering a tooth that my darling daughter chipped when she was a baby and doing that cute little head butt thing that babies do. I still get all ooky when I think of it. Now I need at least two more.

I don't know if you know this or not, but porcelain crowns do not have the same ripping properties of real teeth. So much so that I cannot bite a package of M&M's open, let alone a steak, giving up my real teeth for something that won't grind steak, that just doesn't sit right with me.

Since self hypnosis isn't working, I'm thinking maybe I should try drinking. I'll let you know how it goes.


Rob and Morgan said...

My mom used to grind her teeth and her dentist told her to just go to Big 5 or a similar sporting store and buy a mouth piece (like the ones they wear in wrestling). She wore that while she slept for about a month and it worked.

Keepin' Up with the Joneses said...

Parker has been grinding his teeth too...his front teeth...it makes me cringe just thinking about it. miss you!

denise1006 said...

I'm with Morgan on this one, go to a sports store and buy a mouthpiece, sounds way cheaper and then you can spend that money on a pedicure and massage! lol ok so maybe thats me..

Tracey said...

I grind my teeth too! On real bad days my jaw will lock.

Torina said...

I grind my teeth. You could call around to different dentists and see what they charge for mouthguards. I got mine for less than $100. $495 is a total ripoff.

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Cast of Characters

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