Saturday, January 17, 2009

...I wish my Big Boy wanted more stuff

Roran is a PACK RAT, she has inherited the hoarding gene that is passed through the generations of women in our family. We nearly needed an Oprah intervention to move her to college.

Big Boy on the other hand, looks like he just relocated after a fire destroyed all of his worldly possessions. In his room he has a dresser, a bed, some shelves and a drumset. There are about three pair of jeans and six t-shirts in said dresser, There is a lamp on his shelf. Oh yeah, and the two alarm clocks, that both go off at 6:00 a.m. and he can't be bothered to turn either of them off.

Well, Big Boy got a drum set for Christmas, now he wants drum accessories. Which works for me.

Let me 'splain. We do not buy things for our kids. Not to say that our kids don't have stuff, we just don't buy it for them. Starting about the time they start bugging us for stuff, we start teaching them that you work for things you want. Right now with the fours we are at the sticker stage, help out, get a sticker, trade your sticker chart for money, buy your own stuff. It is a lot more difficult than just buying the toy, but teachable moments and all....

By the time they are the age of early elementary school, they know that work equals stuff. Most mornings I wake up to the sound of our nine year old emptying the dishwasher. I KNOW. His room is cool, he shares a little of the "collecting" gene. Although he keeps his collections neat and tidy. I cannot remember the last time he asked me for anything. He does occasionally remind me that I owe him money, but he never asks me to buy him anything.

We once went on a six day vacation, with three kids, and were only asked for something one time. Amazing.

Now back to Big Boy. He wants drum stuff. He did not ask me for money, he asked me what jobs he could do to earn more money. Take a moment to listen to the angelic choir.............

Now most days around here, when I'm not looking for my keys, I wonder just how effective my parenting is. These are the moments that I think I might be on to something.

3 comments:

Rachel said...

heck yes you are. i'm inspired. i need to make more of an effort in that area. my kids work hard at school, but they don't work hard to help the family.

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

We are just starting that here. I got both girls one of the banks that tells you how much money you have. So, if they ask for something I tell them what it costs and tell them to go and check your bank.

windsurf17 said...

When I read stuff like this from other people, I just think "yeah, right, you're so great and that. What's the real story?" But, I live with this woman and she does all these things (including the part about the keys) and the kids really act that way. There are frustrations from time-to-time but in this area the kids are pretty good. Those are bio's though, the both's are going to be interesting... could be easy with the sibling rivalry, could be a disaster with Felpsy's mood swings and past.

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Cast of Characters

  • BOB - Born of the body children
  • BOTH - Born of the heart children
  • Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
  • Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
  • Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
  • Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
  • Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
  • Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,