Monday, January 26, 2009

...for a rerun. Born of the Heart: But Most People Do Not

But Most People Do Not
The following is from a tv show called State of Mind. The show was set in a counseling practice. This episode dealt with the child counselor who was seeing a ten year old boy recently adopted from Russia. His parents wanted to get him evaluated to see if he was "broken". They were thinking that it was not a good fit. The counselor at one point asked where this boy would fit. Not the country club. He'd spent seven years in an orphanage, cold and hungry and probably had allowed himself to be sodomized for dry socks. Thus ending the parent/counseling relationship.

Later in the tv world wrap up where it all ends nicely this is what was said: (sorry for the punctuation errors)

"It's not brain damage, it's anger and he's terrified and he's had ten bad years and it will take that long to make it better. And you can get the most elaborate work up in the world and what no one will want to tell you, because no one would want to hear it, is that this boy is going to spoil your family vacations. He's going to give you headaches at school, he's going to break the toys you give him, and probably even though you are decent people you are going to get to know the police a lot better than you expected.

We were hoping you could help us avoid all of that.

There is no avoiding, there is dealing with it. There is preparing for it and working hard so that he only gets picked up for a B&E at 14 and not armed robbery at 16. But it is so much work. The world, schools, orphanages, people like me. We have no right to expect you to work this hard. No one loves without expectation, no one gives without wanting something in return. To keep this boy, there is no reason for you to choose this.

People do. Some people make the hard choice.

Yes, they do, and a few, they feel blessed. The kids and the parents because they have done what most of us never do. They have given all they have without expectation. They have persevered and loved when love made no sense and they have saved a life. But most people do not."

Born of the Heart: But Most People Do Not


Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

sounds like someone in script writing knew EXACTly what they were talking about.

Maury said...

Very well said...I just wish there were more than "just a few" that were able to do all that.

Amy said...

WOW! Very well put!

Rachel said...

stunning and sad. but better than platitudes.

Perspective is Everything said...

I love this! Yup that sums it up in a nut shell.. Yes, and dealing with it is often like your heart being dragged by a rope tied to the back of a semi going down the highway with severe road rash.

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Cast of Characters

  • BOB - Born of the body children
  • BOTH - Born of the heart children
  • Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
  • Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
  • Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
  • Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
  • Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
  • Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,