Friday, August 31, 2007
First I'll say that God is not very subtle. You'll understand later.
Our three year old will have lived with us for 23 months tomorrow. We are his SEVENTH home. No one should ever have to live in seven homes, let alone do it all before you turn two. It should go without saying, but this boy has issues. Issues that were difficult to deal with in the beginning. They're getting better, but it has been a looooong road.
Several months after he first came to live with us, I had had enough for the day and decided that going for a ride would be the thing to do. He could scream at me all he wanted I had a super loud radio. On the ride I took it upon myself to discuss with God what I had done to deserve this. I'm a good person, I'm trying to do the right thing, all those things you say to God when you're in a situation you don't want to be in. Intellectually I know God has it all together and that includes His plan for my life, but when you're going through something, knowledge isn't always applied.
So here we are riding around, me shaking my fist at God, my baby shaking his fist at me. I had the radio on, but wasn't really listening. Then I heard a sweet voice from the back singing "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty" (example one of God's non subtleness) and my next question to God was, What had I done to deserve this.
Matthew 5:8 took on a whole new meaning to me that day. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. This kid saw God. This kid has seen evil. This kid is our God warrior in training. He keeps our minds on God daily, sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. He has been through the fire seven times and has come out with a pure heart. There is never a doubt as to how his day is going. Pure, pure, pure.
And now for the other 2x4 Godsmack. As I was researching a verse on refining I came across this.
And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified SEVEN times.
Next time you have a chance, read Psalms 12 and 13. It all applies here.
My question to God is still the same, "What have I done to deserve this?" Sometimes it takes on a sarcastic tone, but for the most part, I'm glad to take my place in the puzzle of God's will.
Born of the Heart: Refined
Cast of Characters
- BOB - Born of the body children
- BOTH - Born of the heart children
- Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
- Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
- Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
- Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
- Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
- Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,