Friday, December 5, 2008

...of fruits and frustration

Several weeks ago, I decided I have not been the most fruity lately. You know, not so loving, not so joyful, not so peaceful, not so patient, not so kind, not so good, or gentle, faithful, and definitely lacking in the self control department. So, I decided that I would assign myself a fruit for the week, and work on it. Here's how it's going.

Love went well, love never fails. I tried to tell all the kids every day that I loved them, even the drumming teen. This by far is the easiest, I just tend to get sidetracked and forget to tell others that I do indeed love them.

Joy, ahhh, coming off the success of love, this one was going to have to be hard. Satan is not big on self improvement. What brings me frustration? The particulars are not important, but the frustrations arrived by the truckload. Whiny kids, check. I took joy that I was their mother and that we were hand picked for each other by the God of creation. Sickness. Joyful we live in a place where medications are readily available. Especially the Nyquil.

Moving on to Peace. The kids were home from school for the week. Self improvement is never easy. We went swimming and wore the littles out, made it more peaceful. We disrupted the schedule and had family over, making it less.

The timing of Patience, coming when I needed it most. A very wise woman once told me never to pray for patience, the only way to get more is to have it tried more. I should have known. Not that I asked for it, per se, but the timing is impeccible. This week we had court. Patience is needed here. It's not like I've already been patient for four years or anything, but they are asking me to be patient some more. Now I am not wishing that the state terminates the rights of mama, consequences be damned. I want that they should terminate them correctly and permanently and without a way to have it appealed, I just wish it wouldn't take four years. Then Felpsy with his broken arm. Three days after we are still not in a cast. Apparently, it is not an urgent matter, but it's there on the list, taunting me. I also realize that it's going to require my patience to carry over into next week. Irony. I guess this work is never done.

Coming up is kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. Kindness is going to be the worst. I'm kind, to people I know and love, and I'm not unkind to others, but I'm not kind either. It feels foreign. Since the last random act of kindness involving me, also involved a VHS tape, I'm going to have to find another way.

I'll let you know how it all goes.

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Cast of Characters

  • BOB - Born of the body children
  • BOTH - Born of the heart children
  • Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
  • Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
  • Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
  • Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
  • Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
  • Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,