Wednesday, December 31, 2008

...I am again the worst parent ever

Big Girl has recently decided to change her name to Roran, and when I say change I mean legally. She has decided that her given name is too common, and she is anything but. I don't know where she is going to come up with the money to change her name, she has no job. Does she think that I'm contributing? I don't know. She has recently found her father, who has been MIA since the diapering days, maybe he's upset that he didn't get a say in her original naming (because according to him, not his problem) maybe he'll fork over the money.

Couple this with the fact that we are not paying for her school. Our agreement since Middle School, has been that she pay for the first semester without assistance and we right a check for the rest. Guess what? She didn't. Guess what? We're not. She is currently freaking out a little that she has no money for school. And let me tell you, it would be easier for me to just write the stupid check. Because as you can all clearly see, this is my fault.

We have explained, over and over and over that she will in no way qualify for need based monies. Yet she continues to ponder ways around this. Right now her and Father Knows Best are figuring out how they can use his income to help her qualify. I'm sorry, but even if he made 1/3 of what we do he'd be better of financially what without not having five other kids.

It's not like she's going to Harvard. She has chosen to go to an in state technical college. An education that she could get by volunteering at our local church, but that was just another one of OUR dumb ideas. We even agreed to let her live here for two more years if she did that. The entire five semester program is $10,000 - and she's renting a $350 apartment next to campus. So, you'll see that had she saved $50 a week her senior year, she could have lived high on the hog, that first semester and been getting the mom/dad money from here on out. btw when she worked an 8 hour shift, she made more than we do for an entire day in foster money.

So, I will be sending my darling daughter this letter later, probably tomorrow because her and Father are going to a Flogging Mollies concert this evening, and we wouldn't want to ruin their fun.


We will not be forwarding you our tax information for the past two years. We have tried since 2004 to get you interested in helping fund your own college education. You were never once interested in attending any of the scholarship or other "How to pay for College" seminars.

A year and a half ago when you got your job, we helped you figure out how much you would need to save in order to pay for your first semester, you were more interested in buying music and dvd's. Having seen your paychecks, had you saved half, you would have been able to pay for all of your schooling, and buy yourself a car. Having chosen to spend your money other ways, this is the position you have put yourself in.

We will continue to pay for your rent, as we are cosigners, but your tuition and other expenses are for you to figure out. We have pointed out many times, that you can completely pay for this yourself with a 20 hour a week minimum waged job.

You are completely aware of how we feel towards debt. If you would like to take out loans to pay for school, that is something you are able to decide, being an adult. We will not, however, participate in any process that leads towards one. You have the total right to be pissed off about this, you can even be pissed off at us, but this is the position you have put yourself in.

You are completely capable of doing this without any help from any others.

Mom and Dad

p.s. I apologize for marrying so well. I will try to do worse next time so that you can get free money for school. What was I thinking?

p.p.s. have fun at your concert and skiing. Don't forget to call me when you get home from the airport.

p.p.p.s. Me and my friends all feel bad that you don't have any money.


Tracey said...

I commend you for being a strong parent! Cudos to you! God Bless! Best wishes! Let us know how "her" decisions turn out!

hsmomma5 said...

Girl, YOU ARE MY HERO!!! :)

I love it--reminds me a lot of the note I wrote to leave on my 16 y.o.'s bedroom door a couple of months ago explaining why I did not wake him for an appointment. Unfortunately, he rose on his on minutes before we left and I missed out on a whole bunch of fun.....

Brandon Cunningham said...

Rock on Mom and Dad! We are talking to Nick right now about your letter. I hated my dad but I am glad he was a bad parent like you are now.

Threeundertwo said...

You are doing the best thing possible for her. I was saddled with so much debt for school that my parents applied for. I really didn't understand what it was at the time, but I paid for it later for years and years and years.

You are a great parent. Cheers.

Tiffany said...

Love it, love it. With Paige at this stage of her life where we are just totally uncool. I love how you use your humor and honesty with her. That makes you one cool mom in my eyes. Keep it up. We are using the same avenue with Paige. Love it!!!

Rachel said...

You sound like a great parent. My parents didn't pay for school, and my husband's didn't either. We only took out loan for one semester each. It's totally doable, and a great way to start out adulthood.

(laughing very, very quietly at that last pps...)

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Cast of Characters

  • BOB - Born of the body children
  • BOTH - Born of the heart children
  • Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
  • Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
  • Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
  • Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
  • Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
  • Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,