This past weekend has been filled with the anxiety of fostering. Court is coming, while one would think that after four years of nothing happening I would be OK. I'm not. It's about time something should happen. And change is not always what you'd like it to be. I want something to happen. It scares me. I often go back to Moses during times like these. And despite rereading it a hundred times over the years, each time I find something new.
Moses' mother could not care for him at home. It was not that she didn't love him, she did, A LOT. But due to circumstances she could not control, that baby could not live in her house. In order to save his life, she had to let him go.
The Pharaoh had ordered all the boy babies to be killed. Probably thrown into to the Nile and drown. The very river that had taken so many lives was used to save this child. And one day an unsuspecting daughter of the Pharaoh, found a baby a claimed him as her own in order to save his life.
Fast forward eighty years. That baby is an old man tending his flock in the desert. A stranger in a strange land. A man living in exile. Hiding from his past. A man whose life was saved, is called upon to save the lives of others and bring them home. His question? Who am I that you should send me?
I AM THAT I AM.
Who I am is not a factor in this story. Just a girl, saved from a certain death, minding her own business called upon to claim three babies as her own, called upon to bring them home. What happens in court is beyond my control. We have come to understand that the law is not I AM.
Last night when I put them to bed, I told my husband that I cannot believe that this will not be my life. It may be that the very thing that brought these children to me, will be the thing that takes them from me. I AM will be with me not matter what. I AM will be with them no matter what.
I cannot be worried about what happens on a random Tuesday. THIS is the day that the Lord has made. This day, I draw them out of the water and claim them as my own. I AM the judge. I AM the jury. I AM the protector of the children. And I have to believe that either He IS or He isn't.
Cast of Characters
- BOB - Born of the body children
- BOTH - Born of the heart children
- Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
- Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
- Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
- Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
- Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
- Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,