Yesterday I decided to run for queen. I could never be president. Maybe a dictator. Hmmm??? We'll stick with queen. Of course, not that it will matter, I will need some policies to make myself an attractive candidate. I need all the help with attractiveness as I am required by feminist law to wear a pant suit, and well, pantsuits aren't sexy. So without further ado, my policies.
First, domestic policy. Gather up the secret alien technology and teleport the entire populous out of the country. I will sell it as a reality show, so there will be no violation of the Constitution or anything. The reason for tele-de-portation is this. There is a subculture in the country that hates it. I'll be doing them a favor by helping them leave the country they loathe. It will also help the people who love this country and would get back here come Hell or high water. And you might want to cozy up to your gun, you'll be required to defend the Constitution of the United States from enemies foreign and domestic.
Once the people who want to be here get back I will implement my education policy. I believe education is important. My educational program will be to buy every man, woman and child a DVD copy of School House Rock. Once we all know our multiplication tables and the Preamble to the Constitution we'll all know more than most of us learned in school. After that you'll be required to go to Financial Peace University and learn how credit works and how to do a budget.
This brings me to my economic policy. First of all, there will be no more income, property or sales taxes. We'll implement the Fair Tax. You'll have so much money and having attended FPU, you will know what to do with it. You'll give, you'll save and you'll spend it wisely. This will also apply to the big spenders in Washington D.C. - The Fair Tax will bring in enough, don't worry. We'll be able to provide for the common defense. We may not be able to afford the substandard housing we've been keeping the poor in. Or be able to send them to their substandard schools. But because you have more control of your money, and you'll demand that your money is spent wisely. And once the money is in the hands of 'we the people' we'll take care of it.
Let's talk foreign policy. Don't mess with us or our friends, we won't mess with you.
Energy. Let's figure out how to harness the power of the sun, and the wind. Until then, let's use our oil. Or go blow up some desert dictatorship and occupy their sandbox and use that oil. Hello, we're the only SUPERPOWER left. Let's use that to our advantage instead of financing those who would do harm against us.
Welfare. Gone. Immediately. You know why? It's not that I hate the people who need it. I hate the fact that they are given just enough to not make it. If they make one dime more than $X.00 they are cut off. Love is in the giving. If your neighbor needs some help, help them. If they don't have a neighbor, they can go to the church. The church is charged with helping the poor, when we help, we can really help. The poor don't need money as much as they need hope and we should have that in spades.
Health care policy. The government will in no way shape or form be involved. I have been working in the foster care system for too many years. During these years the kids I've cared for have had Medicaid. Just so you know how government healthcare program might work for you. First, our chldren need a psychological evaluation every year. We cannot simply make an appointment and get one. We need to go in and get a pre-evaluation evaluation. This cannot be waived even though whether they need it or not they are getting one. We are not allowed to get an evaluation until we get a letter from Medicaid saying that we need one, even though we know, come September, we're going to need one. We then have 30 days to get a complete evaluation. Of course the pre-evaluation has to be submitted for approval, this approval takes about 6-8 weeks. Putting us behind in our obligations to get care for our children in a timely manner. This then becomes my fault.
If this were the only issue I dealt with annually it may not be much of a concern. This also applies to dental care and regular health care. Just to make it interesting the company that Medicaid outsources their services to changes every year. So, around about April when the annual checkups are due, for things like opthamologists and cardiologists we get a new plan provider. We cannot then simply take a child to the cardiologist who has seen her regularly since she was born, we need to get a referral. We then have to go to our pediatrician, if that pediatrician has decided to jump through all of the hoops again this year, and get a referral to a doctor our children already see. So, for example in my case I take three children to the pediatrician to get referrals to doctors they already see, then I have to take the individual children to their respective doctors. This is especially fun when one is on medication, he needs to see a psychiatrist, but he cannot see a psychiatrist until he's been diagnosed by a psychologist, and he can't see either until he's had a pre-evaluation evaluation that his pediatrician recommends to keep him on the medication he is currently taking. And I have to get in line behind the thousands of other foster parents who are trying to comply in the thirty days we've been given. Do you have a headache yet? You'll need an evaluation.
I will not be here to solve your problems. As you can see, I'm going to have plenty of my own. I will help my friends and my neighbors and if you'll all join me by helping out your friends and neighbors when they need it, then you may not even need me.
This is Annie and I approve this rant. (Unless of course you disagree and then some staff writer put that in and edited my approval on the end, either way I just want everyone to be happy all the time. I am a middle child, maybe I need help, you think?) Whatever I said that you agree with is where we stand on that issue.
Cast of Characters
- BOB - Born of the body children
- BOTH - Born of the heart children
- Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
- Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
- Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
- Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
- Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
- Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,