Tuesday, September 2, 2008

...I am a year and two days wiser

My birthday was Sunday, and I'd like to share the wealth of knowledge I've obtained through my many years on this earth.

1. Do not go out to eat on your birthday. If you do, do not go on a double date with the men's ministry leader and his wife. When the waitress inquires as to whether there is a birthday he'll feel compelled to tell the truth. Of all the ministers in the world we found one who keeps commandments. Go figure.

In all seriousness though we had a great time, I got to ride a saddle with no horse (I'm sure hubby would be willing to share the pics) and the food was great. The best part is we were without any of the 11 kids and after years of knowing these people had an actual conversation. I must begin plotting Nene's birthday humiliation, I mean surprise.....

2. I am too old to be paying people to not listen to me. When we hire a sitter they do good for a couple of times, then not so much. I have very few "rules" please follow them. Three and four year olds are old enough to drink their milk at the table, do not put milk in a sippy cup, they tend to disappear and then magically reappear. Seriously, four rules. Feed the kids. Do it at the table. No milk or juice in sippy cups. Put them to bed at X:00. Third time here and she followed exactly zero. Hubby says I should be glad that anyone wants to do it at all, it's a lot of work. I wonder what message it sends that I pay people to not listen to me.

3. Push all children out of the nest at the earliest possible chance. Big girl has been snotty and unloved for the past year. We taught her to fly well, last week we gave her the chance to prove it. She's called and emailed everyday, guess I'm not the most horrible person on the planet.

Those are my words of wisdom for this year, I'm sure there are more, but the memory....

Things I'm working on for next year. How to control every aspect of my children's lives. Keeping all teens from having sex. Explaining to those of you who have never had to deal with Medicaid that the government should not be in charge of anything as important as your health care. The government is there to provide for the common defense. When I become queen the only thing you'll get from me is a copy of School House Rock. Yes, I think it's time for time to go over my policies. Check back.

1 comment:

JustTheFactsMa'am said...

Happy Belated B-day, Your Majesty!

"Conjunction Junction, what's your function?..."

Click this and I will send you flair:)

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Cast of Characters

  • BOB - Born of the body children
  • BOTH - Born of the heart children
  • Roran aka Big Girl - 18 year old BOB daughter - recently booted from the nest
  • Big Boy - 15 year old BOB son
  • Radical - 9 year old BOB son who fyi is not RAD
  • Felpsy aka lil middle - 4 year old BOTH boy who is RAD and is the cumin in our soup
  • Booger - 4 year old BOTH boy, sib to Felpsy, Twin to....
  • Princess - 4 year old BOTH girl. Diva,