...Foggy Mountain Top

Last winter we went to Albuquerque, overlooking the city is Sandia Mountain. I decided that we needed to be on top of that mountain. I deduced that the view would be awesome, so up we went. I cannot report on the view as about 30 seconds before we reached the top a ginormous cloud descended upon the mountain and I could barely see ten feet, let alone the valley below.

I could have been grumpy about it, I can't remember if I was, you'll have to ask hubby. But MY recollection is that I wasn't. I was upset that I was missing out on the view, but just because I didn't see it, doesn't mean that it had changed. It was still very beautiful, I just couldn't see it.

That's where I'm at today. Sitting up on top of a foggy mountain. Knowing there is a view that I can't see today, maybe tomorrow the view will be clear, but I might not be here. I don't know where to go today, I can't see the whole valley, just my immediate vicinity. I want to believe that all that I believe is true. I also understand that many people would define that as crazy.

I know I'm not normal. This has been pointed out to me this week, yesterday an acquaintance pointed out that "just six" is not a normal answer to how many kids you have. Normal people drive their kids six hundred places, they don't plan a multi zeroed community center around the premise that they hate to be in the car. No one else has a story like mine, no one gets married like I did, no one gets their kids like I did. I have a special life.

I've been working on a contingency plan, just in case the old grocery store doesn't work out, hubby says forget about plan 2, believe in plan 1.2 and go with it. Believe that they are going to hand you the keys, and the money will come and it will all work out. I cannot see the whole path, but I can see my next step and I will take that step and the next and the next and I might not get to see the view from the top for awhile, but one day I'll be able to see all of God's glory. The view from here is beautiful, I just can't see it today.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. Psalms 119:105