...of perfecting.

No, I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be, anymore. Anytime I do, I am reminded just how imperfect I am. I am being perfected. Every day I must choose to lose some bad, to make room for some good. It sounds easy, but the bad seems so good.

I struggle everyday. On days I'm not struggling, I'm happy until I realize I must not be doing enough to show up on the devil's radar. I am too much, yet not enough.

There is so much I want to do; there is so much I want to be. I am tired. I do and do and nothing gets done. Last week at church my pastor said to be unstoppable you have to stop. I will never get it all done. I have to let God let me know what He'd like me to do. Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Everything I want to do and be is only possible when God is up front. I want to be the Little Engine that could. I can think I can all day, but it'd be a lot easier if I let the mighty locomotive do it for me.

I'd like to report that I accomplished all of my October goals. I would like to but I can't. When my goals became my focus, I failed. But, "I think I can" kept chugging along. "I think I can;" got bronchitis. "I think I can;" sprained my wrist. "I think I can;" has three preschoolers. "I think I can;" can't. I think I'm gonna let someone else pull my train; we'll get there a lot sooner.